Expensive Clothes Hangers for the Rich! "No Wire Hangers!"

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I'm quite sure none of us have ever recovered from actress Joan Crawford's emotional meltdown in the film "Mommie Dearest", wherein she screams at her terrified daughter, "No Wire Hangers!"

Dear God!  As Butler in a billionaire's home, I've made quite sure there are no wire hangers to be found anywhere on this property!  Ha!

In the last article entitled "Closet Organization for the Rich", I mentioned that all garments in this house are hung on matching hangers, "all carefully turned in the same direction".

But what kind of hangers do rich people use?  And where do you get them?

Remember when you go into a nice department store and see everything hung on wooden hangers with the store's name or emblem printed on each hanger, usually in gold lettering?

Well, there are companies in this world that design exclusive custom-made hangers not only for department stores but also for famous clothes designers, for fine hotels, and even for private homes!

These companies will imprint your initials, your family crest, your corporate emblem, whatever you wish onto high-quality polished wooden hangers -- and it's going to cost you a small fortune!  Ha!

Just take a look at this link "The Most Expensive Journal" describing a hanger -- one hanger -- that costs $460.  Wow!  And that's 2010 prices.  Ha!

But that's the extreme!

Now take a look at Henry Hanger Company of America, one of the oldest and most respected hanger companies in America, serving both commercial and private clientele.  This is where we get our hangers.  You can get delightfully lost in this amazing web page, but be sure to find their "Custom Logo" page.  (You'll need to sign up and log in to their web page to get actual, current pricing.) 

There are other websites where you might get a decent, imprinted wooden hanger for as little as (or even under) twenty dollars each.  But even that adds up quick!  Ha!

All I can say tonight is that if you're new at this job as Household Manger or Butler and want to switch out maybe five-thousand hanging garments for matching, gold imprinted high-quality wooden hangers, then you'll need to figure a little over one-hundred-thousand dollars ($100,000) into your household budget!   Ha!

Absolutely mind boggling!

Hope this hasn't been boring!  And thanks for reading!

Good night,
Andrew

Closet Organization for the Rich!

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As the Butler in a billionaire’s home, part of my job here is to oversee closet organization. 
   
This may sound like a lot of work (and it is at the beginning), but once the closet is organized, then it’s relatively easy to keep it neat and clean from there on.

Where I’m currently employed, the Mister and Missus have amazing closets!   Most rich people do.   But what they call a “closet” is actually a large Dressing Room with lots of closets!   

And these separate Dressing Rooms actually serve as their private retreats, where they can get away from everything and everyone and be alone for awhile. 

In fact the French word “Boudoir” for a lady’s Dressing Room is actually derived from the verb bouder, meaning “to be sulky”.  (And indeed, this is where you’ll find the Missus in her other-than-pleasant moods.  Ha!)

Her Dressing Room is adjacent the marble and palm bathroom, and it’s absolutely enormous!   (I’ve lived in smaller apartments!)   And this is her hideout.  

There’s a comfortable sitting area with a French chaise lounge where she reclines (complete with mink throw), a settee and coffee table, a flat screen tv and of course Internet and telephone connection, with a private, dedicated line to this one room.

Next to the sitting area there’s an enormous center island with a marble counter top, used for assembling outfits, and for packing luggage.  Underneath there are dresser drawers (forty six altogether!) for lingerie, scarves, sweaters and other folded garments.

Then surrounding the whole area are fourteen separate closets, and some thirty-eight glass-door display shelves (all with interior lighting) for hats, purses, and belts.  And in this room there’s also another half wall of angled shoe shelves, as you might see in a department store. 

Each of the fourteen closets contains specific garments: coats, dresses, skirts, blouses, robes and negligees, business suits, cocktail attire (three closets, ha!), formal gowns, causal wear, and gym outfits.

Then, within each of these closets, the garments are further organized and separated by season, and by color.  And each garment in every closet is hung on matching hangers, all carefully turned the same direction.

Honestly, when you walk into this Boudoir and flip on all the lights, you would think you were in a Neiman Marcus showroom!   And the Upstairs Maid is so proud of the way she keeps this area.

Closet organization is a fun and important topic -- whether we live in a one-room student apartment,  a nice house with walk-in closets, or a palace with a Boudoir -- keeping them neat, well organized and clean is important to all of us. 

But thankfully we’re not alone!   There are professional closet organizers you can hire (which is exactly what I did when I first began working here), and the Container Store has terrific ideas for closet organization and maximizing available space. 

(I think you'll find this a very helpful web site!  And there's other closets in this house -- the garages, the attics, the laundry and utility rooms -- that also need organizing.)

Well, as usual, this has been way too long.   And I hope I haven't put you to sleep.  Ha!

Andrew

Billionaire Butler FAQ: "Do You Ever Envy Your Employers?"

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Oscar Wilde said,

          "Questions are never indiscreet.  But answers sometimes are."

And by answering this question, I hope I'm not being indiscreet or hurting any one's feelings.

But do I envy my employers?

The answer to this is absolutely not!

If you're employed by the rich and find yourself envious of anything about them, then you're in the wrong profession.  You need to do yourself and your employers a favor and find another line of work! 

In the service industry, envy has no place whatsoever. 

Everyone is different, of course, and we all have our own ideas about what we'd do with money.

In my own case, even though currently employed as Butler for a billionaire, I'm still a traveler in this world, and I don't envy the entanglements and encumberments of  the rich, at all.

And I have no desires whatsoever for their kind of lifestyles.  The last thing on earth I want to do is pin myself down to some specific date and R.S.V.P. to some rich old lady's party, where I know for certain I'd be bored half to death!   (Well now, that sounded rather mean,  didn't it?)

Certainly, I'm fascinated by the rich and the way they use all their free time and money, I'm attracted to all the glamour and beauty they reach out for, and I appreciate the high salaries they pay.  Ha!  And thus, my job.

But I would never, under any circumstance, want to be among their ranks.

I hope this wasn't insensitive to anyone, or utterly boring to read.      

Thanks for your interest, and for reading.

Good night,
Andrew

The Social Season in a Billionaire's World!

The long summer months have finally passed, and now the Social Season is upon us once again.   

As the Butler in a billionaire’s home, this begins the time of year when we all gear up for the non-stop onslaught of parties, galas and events, and put forth every ounce of energy we can muster to make it all a success!

I’ve been asked more than once, “What exactly is the Social Season?”  So I'll try to explain. 

During the summer months of June, July and August no one gives large parties or events simply because too many prospective guests are away on vacation.  Any parties during these months are usually confined to small birthday and anniversary gatherings.  

So for all practical purposes, in North America the Social Season begins in mid September and usually ends shortly after New Year’s in January, when deep winter starts to set in.

This time frame not only encompasses all the holidays -- Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Chanukah, Kwanzaa, and New Years—but this is also the season for Charity Balls, huge frivolous galas and those never-ending, absolutely-dreary political fund raising events.

Different countries or regions within a country might define this differently, and actually some cities claim their own specific dates for the Social Season.    Here’s an article you might find amusing from "The Reliable Sources" in the Washington Post  (September 27, 2010) about the parties in our nation's capitol, entitled "Too Many Parties but Not Enough Fun!"  Ha!    

And I'd just like to mention that the parties during this season are deadly serious! 

Anywhere from three-to-six months before a large event, “Save the Date” cards are sent out to those who might be interested or affected, followed later by a formal invitation.  (And as mentioned in a previous post entitled “RSVP and Regrets”, social manners quite seriously come into play here.)

As you might imagine, this is an extremely busy and important time in the lives of the rich, and they go all out.   No expense is spared! 

The preparations for all this is amazingly detailed, and absolutely exhausting!  But we, the house staff, are all professionals around here and know just what to do, and how and when to do it. 

If there's anything seriously noteworthy to report during the next few months, I'll certainly let you know!

To get in the party mood, maybe we should hear the incomparable Dame Shirley Bassey in "Get The Party Started".  Here's the YouTube link.  It's terrific, and great fun to watch!

And by the way, we don't have to be rich to enjoy the Social Season, do we?  The holidays are for all of us -- and tailgate parties at a football game are just as much fun as a high-society charity ball.  Maybe more!  Trust me on that! 

Thanks for reading!

And good night,
Andrew

Cleaning An Original Oil Painting!

If you have oil paintings in your home, whether they're historic and valuable or just a souvenir from a street painter in Paris, you'll want to keep them clean.

But if you're employed by the rich, as I happen to be, then taking care of their art work is part of the job -- in fact your job is at stake!   Ha!

We have responsibilities both to our employers and to the art works as well.  And if you can bear with me, there's two categories I want to address tonight.

Restoration:  This is what we do not do!  Any yellowing of the varnish, any flaking or tears in the canvas -- these problems must be sent to a professional Conservator for resolution!  And beware, there are many dangerous do-it-yourself websites for art restoration.  But are you willing, as a novice, to risk destroying a half-million dollar painting and losing your job?  No!  Simply tell your employer that it's beyond your expertise and take it straight out to a Conservator. 

(Most rich people would agree with this without hesitation!  But I know of a situation where a famous lady -- I can't name names here -- stumbled and smashed her fragile martini glass into an original Alexander Calder, leaving a one-inch slash in the canvas.  Hysterical at the time!  And her equally-famous host, the owner of the painting, told his House Manager the next day to just put some Super Glue on the tear!  Can you imagine?  Ha!  How rich and nonchalant can you be?)  

Art Maintenance:   Now, this is something we can all do, whether your original oil is a paint-by-numbers gift from a life-long friend, or an original Dutch Master.  Ha!  Here's the problem:  dust and contaminates can cause damage, perhaps even a fungus on the canvas!  And pollens in the air can cause yellowing. 

So all we really need to do is keep the art work dusted!  It's that simple.  However, we have to use the proper tools!  And here are two of the best.

Female Ostrich Feather Dusters:   Ostrich dusters are all over the place, but ones made with female feathers are very hard to find.  They attract dust like a magnet and are very gentle on the artist's brush strokes in the painting.   I found this one website, and here's the link.  It's from Parish-Supply.com.  But you have to scroll down to "Pop-up Feather Duster" where it says "made with all natural mature soft grey-brown female ostrich feathers".   As I said, really hard to find.  And if you can't, then a regular ostrich duster (male feathers) is better than none.

Sable Brushes:  The ultimate in soft brushes! Easy to find, available in any art store.  Made from tail hairs of a sable marten.  These are great for dusting deep into the artist's brush strokes, especially if it's an abstract piece done with a Palette knife.  These brushes can clean deep into those globs of paint.  Ha!  


BUT HERE'S A WARNING!  These feather dusters and brushes must be labeled and kept separate from all other dusters.  Why?  Well, what if there's a beautiful figurine on a coffee table that people pick up and look at?  If you dust this with your sable brush, then you could contaminate the brush and transfer human skin oil from the figurine to an original oil canvas. ( Remember all those signs in the museums, "Do Not Touch" ?   There's a reason!  Skin oil is full of destructive contaminates! ) 

This has been way too long, but I hope it's been helpful.   

There are of course issues about keeping oil paintings in a temperature-and-humidity-controlled environment, about protecting them from sunlight, and about the proper ways to light a painting.  But this would have to be another topic altogether in some future post. 

(But I would like to say that one of my favorite things in this job is to prance around with a feather duster and accidentally overhear conversations among the high and mighty while pretending to dust a Rembrandt.  Ha!   You can't imagine how much fun this is!)

Thanks for reading! 

Good night,
Andrew

Charities and the Rich!

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Once you become rich and want to join the ranks of High Society,   you will immediately be caught up in the dazzling world of Charity Events!  

As the Butler for a billionaire, I know this all too well.

If I may, the actual definition of a charity is “A voluntary giving of money or other help to those in need”, and the Legal  definition (for business and tax purposes) is “Activities serving the public interest or common good”.  

And this is the long-established, structured way that rich people share their wealth and make contributions to society at large.   

These charities can include such things as:

-Children's Hospitals
-Women's Shelters
-Food Banks for the Homeless
-Breast Cancer
-The local Ballet or Opera
-Preservation Societies
-Parks and Recreation

The list could go on and on for many pages.   Around Christmas time, there’s an absolute deluge of charity requests that come into this house!

And to the critics and haters of the rich, you absolutely must factor all this into your opinions.

-Charities are a perfunctory and inescapable social obligation of the rich.  It’s a machine that demands their attention -- way beyond their individual control!

-Donations are public information.   If you want to remain a member of High Society, you both participate and donate-- and if you do not, you will be cast out.  It’s that simple.

-To be sure, Charities are a business, usually organized as a Not-for-Profit organization.  Some may even have employees and Executive Officers with a handsome salary.   But there are serious controls, varying from country to country, but in the United States they are under the watchful eye of the IRS. 


Most rich people are happy to be a part of this fund-raising affair.   Happy because they‘re rich, and happy to have the ability to do so.   And the selfish Scrooges will simply fall by the wayside.

But now here’s the fun part of charity events:

This is the moment in time when all the rich can safely come together and show off all their finest accouterments! 

This is the moment when all the designer gowns, the face lifts, and all the jewels from Harry Winston and Tiffany come into play.  This is when it all makes sense!   With Chefs, Musicians, Bartenders, Valet Parkers all catering to their every need and enjoyment for the evening.    All so very, very elegant and beautiful!   And don't overlook all the jobs involved!

This party may cost two-or-three hundred thousand dollars to launch!  But if it raises one-or-two million for the cause, then it’s all worth it!

And a good time was had by all.  

I hope this article is not totally received as a defense of the rich.  I’m just reporting what I know from  personal observations so we might have a better understanding of what’s going on in this crazy world, and the agonizing divide between the rich and the poor. 

Thanks for stopping by.

Good night,
Andrew

Moth Infestation? In This Billionaire Home? OMG!

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This morning the Missus came downstairs and handed me a sweater.  She pointed out a small hole and said, "Would you mind taking this to the tailor and see if it can be rewoven?  I'm afraid we might have a moth."

Instant panic on my part!  I tried to keep her from noticing the slow cardiac event I was having (ha!), and simply replied, "We'll take care of it."

OMG!  No, no no!   This can't be possible! 

You'll understand that the cost of her exquisite, designer wardrobe tallies into the hundreds-of-thousands!  And as House Manager/Butler it's my job to protect it! 

In her dressing room there are fourteen separate closets, forty-six drawers and dozens of glass-encased display shelves.  And the monumental task of inspecting each garment with a flashlight and magnifying glass (to locate moth eggs and larvae) would take days!  Not to mention how absolutely boring such a task would be!

On the way to the tailor (with a seven-hundred-dollar Valentino sweater on the car seat beside me), I tried to calm myself and not hyperventilate by going over everything I learned in Butler School about moth infestations. 

I know that adult moths flying around don't do the damage -- it's their hatched larvae that nourish upon on wool.  But the entire house staff is alert to the hazards of adult moths in the house, and none of us have seen or reported any such thing.

In addition, I know that moths like to lay their eggs in soiled wool, especially if there are any grease spots.  But any soiled garment in this house goes straight into the laundry or out to the cleaners.

Starting to feel a little better, the tailor himself calmed all fears when he said, "No, this is just a snag.  If it was moths, there would be many holes, not just one."  

Well, of course!  What an obvious observation -- which should have been on the tip of my tongue (had I not panicked) the moment the Missus first handed me the sweater!  (The larvae don't just have one meal and then go off somewhere!) 

What a relief!   What a blessed relief!  I can't even tell you!

An infestation is very time consuming, to say the least, and difficult to eliminate -- definitely requiring professional help.  And if you're faced with this horror, I'm going to refer you to an article on eHow, and here's the link.   It will get you started in the right direction.

But there are preventive measures we can all put into place: 

1) Prevent moths from getting into the house in the first place with proper door and window seals, and sealing all cracks and crevices around baseboards.  (They like wool carpets, too.)
2) Keep an eye out for adult moths -- catch them immediately and throw them out before they can lay their eggs! 
3) Always keep closets and drawers clean.  
4) Never replace a soiled garment into your closet! 
5) Any garment from a second-hand store or consignment shop could be contaminated, so send it to the cleaners before adding it to your closet or drawers!


Unfortunately, our traditional and charming remedies of using cedar closets, cedar chests and cedar chips simply do not work!   In fact, Cheryl Mendelson in "Home Comforts" says there's no scientific evidence whatsoever that cedar repels moths!  (While they may not prefer the aroma of cedar, if it's the only place they can find wool they'll go right into a cedar closet and lay their eggs!)


And by the way, there are also moths that invade your pantry and contaminate the food.  But who cares?  Food is cheap (unlike a Valentino sweater), so if this happens to you, just throw it out and start all over. 

Hope this hasn't been too boring, or stressful.

Thanks for reading!

Good night,
Andrew