Carving a Turkey! (This Really Sucks!)

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Last night I told you about all the preparations being made for today's annual Thanksgiving feast. 

Somewhere in my soul I have visions about the head of the house, the host of an event, proudly and elegantly carving a turkey and passing each slice to his guest's plate.

But did that happen today?

No! 

Apparently the Mister thought it even more elegant to have his Butler do it, which in this case would be me, moi!  Damn!

And I'm really bad at this!  It wasn't taught in Butler School (for God's sake), and in any case, you only have once a year to practice.  Right?

To my utter embarrassment, each and every slice I attempted today came out looking like something you'd want to put in a Fajita!  Dear God!

They didn't ask me in the original interview if I know how to carve a damned  turkey!  Ha!  And it's hardly my fault they let Chef have a three-day holiday at this critical time, is it? 

So I'm not taking the blame for any of this!  (Just hide everything under the giblet gravy, and they won't know the difference!)

In any case, they're all too busy looking at each others' diamonds and new nips and tucks to actually notice what's on their plates! 

So that's my Thanksgiving nightmare!

Major fantasies tonight about working in a Toll Booth!  Ha!

Hope your day went well, and hope your turkey cooperated with being sliced up much better than mine!

Thanks for stopping by tonight!

Andrew

Thanksgiving for a Billionaire!

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Couldn't let the day go by without saying Happy Thanksgiving!

Things are underway this evening for the traditional feast tomorrow.  I've just finished all the shopping, and we've started to lay out the elaborate table decor for a sit-down dinner for eighteen -- just family members and a few of their closest friends.

For some hateful reason, Chef was given three days off.  So the entire event this year was dumped into my lap!

But mercifully, the family I'm currently working for prefers the traditional holiday menu that many of us enjoy -- turkey, dressing, gravy -- the whole megillah.  And all these items are easily acquired at any up-scale caterer.  Ha!

So when I said I just finished all the shopping, what I meant was I just got off the phone with the caterer to make sure all is on schedule.  And here's what's on our Thanksgiving menu (which will be dropped of before noon tomorrow):

- Smoked Turkey
- Honey-glazed Ham
- Cornbread Stuffing
- "Homemade" Giblet Gravy
- Raw Red Potatoes
- Raw Broccoli
- Green-bean Casserole
- Tossed Salad (Romaine, with cherry tomatoes and cucumber slices)
- Yeast Rolls
- Pecan Pie
- Pumpkin Pie

Simple enough, and thoroughly traditional.  In addition, there'll be several small dishes of mixed nuts on the table, and fresh-diced fruit for those who don't want the pies.

I'll steam the broccoli myself, and add my famous butter and lemon-juice sauce -- which consists of butter and lemon juice.   Ha!


So that's Thanksgiving for us around here.

Just off hand, I'd say billionaires have a whole lot of things to be thankful for!   But my culinary skills are decidedly not one of them! 

Hope you're family gathering and feast tomorrow goes smoothly.  

Thanks for stopping by, and again, Happy Thanksgiving*!

Andrew

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* To my international readers, Thanksgiving is a holiday in the Americas that corresponds to the Harvest Festival celebrated in cultures around the world, at varying times in various climates, when the harvest is brought in.

"Breakfast at Tiffinay's"

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In a recent post,  I wrote about my employers' morning nutrition  in an article entitled "Breakfast for a Billionaire".

And in one email inquiry, someone asked if they ever have breakfast at Tiffany's?

My heart melted, and I loved the question!

While many luxury department stores have cafes (such as the famous lunchroom at Bergdorf Goodman in New York), Tiffany's is not a department store -- and doesn't have a cafe.

It's primarily a diamond and jewelry store. (Although they also offer exquisite tableware, stemware and sterling flatware.)

The idea that it has a cafe comes from Truman Capote's well known novella and movie, "Breakfast at Tiffany's". 

Capote's main character, Holly Golightly, was played by the lovely and ever effervescent Audrey Hepburn.   

In her dreamworld and desire to be among high society, Holly would take a to-go coffee and Danish, stand outside Tiffany's windows, and stare at the exquisite jewelry on display while having her morning "breakfast".  (And thus the idea that Tiffany's has a cafe.)


The theme song from Breakfast at Tiffany's is familiar to all of us. 

Here's a  sweet Youtube link to "Moon River", by Johnny Mercer and Henry Mancini.  Maybe you have a moment to listen, and see what Holly's up to.


Hope this wasn't too much off topic tonight.


Thanks for stopping by,
and good night!

Andrew

Breakfast for a Billionaire!

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In her book Home Comforts, Cheryl Mendelson tells us breakfast is a meal wherein we want simple, easy-to-chew and repetitive menus that require little thinking while we're still groggy, and trying to wake up.  Ha!

As the Butler here, I can tell you for sure this is absolutely true -- at least  in the house where I currently work.  (There is no "thinking" going on around here whatsoever until the afternoons -- which suits me just fine!)

In the three years I've been here, the breakfast menu has been the same, each and every day!  And again -- each and every day!  omg!

-  Coffee.
-  Fresh-squeezed orange juice.
-  Plain yogurt.
-  Fruit Bowl (fresh and diced).
-  A half-slice of whole grain toast, dry.


Sounds really nutritious, right?   But I worry about the small amount of protein. 

Most of us go straight for the proteins in the mornings -- eggs, ham, sausage, bacon, cereal with milk -- anything to give us strength to get through the day!  Right? 

So I don't know.  I'm not a nutritionist -- but I do have a sense of balance when it comes to what the body needs.

But maybe rich people, not facing a day's labor, don't need as much protein as we do.  Ha!

I don't know!  It's none of my business, after all.  I just work here.
  
But before I go, I'd like to dedicate this post to a reader named Joey in Cape Town, South Africa.  He's a qualified Chef, and about to start school at the South African Butler Academy. 

Awesome!  We wish you well, Joey.  And do keep us posted as to your progress.  (And by the way, any international gossip you might want to pass along would be most welcome!  Ha!)

Thanks for reading tonight!

Andrew

FAQ: What Do Rich People Eat?

Update: September 19, 2012

Of all the essays I've written over the past two years, I noticed in the stats report today that this article about what rich people eat has become the most widely read essay both in numbers and worldwide attention.  And I just wanted to take this opportunity to say thank you so much for reading, and following!  Writing this blog has been terrific fun!   Andrew

(Here's the original article, from November 7, 2011)
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We were told in Butler school that rich people want to live forever.  And why not, with all that money to play with?

As the Butler here for a rich family, I can tell you for sure this is absolutely true!  They go to extraordinary lengths to keep themselves healthy and vital!

Long gone are the days when being rich meant you were stationary and fat, and inevitably wind up with gout (sometimes referred to as Rich Man's Disease)!   

Here's what the modern-day rich have going:

- First, they're able to get plenty of rest, anytime needed.
- They have daily exercise routines.  (And usually Personal Trainers)
- They have access to the very best doctors and health-care providers.
- They're keenly aware of proper nutrition!
- And, they watch their calorie intake!

For the rich, however, watching their calories is a huge effort, as you might expect -- and often beyond their control.

They have access, of course, to the finest cuts of meats, fresh seafood, nuts and berries, out-of-season fruits and vegetables, and lets not forget the caviar!  

They're constantly being invited to dinner parties or going out to restaurants, and there's the endless parade of cocktail affairs and finger-food buffets.  Hors d'oeuvres are simply a part of their daily lives.

So what do rich people eat?   The answer is -- absolutely everything!

However -- their big secret and personal salvation is that they take only very small portions of what's being offered!

And there's help in this situation!  Hostesses, chefs and caterers in this world of the rich are fully aware of the dilemma -- and offer only the most nutritious recipes!  

And in the case of buffets, the fares are generally in small, bite-size portions.  (I know of one local seventy-five-year-old Grand Dame who's entire daily intake consists of other people's hors d'oeuvres!  Ha!) 

You will always see a dessert table at any of these parties or functions, with the most exquisite sweets you can imagine!  But this table is often left untouched!  (And the staff around here appreciates that very much!)

As far as I can tell, from what all I've seen in working with the rich for many years, they don't really do "diets", simply because their lifestyles don't don't permit a constant regimen.  They have no time to follow the popular diet gurus or the latest fads on weight loss.

Seemingly, their simple formula is "eat less and exercise more".

If I had to stick my neck out, I'd say the Mediterranean Diet (which should be called a lifestyle, not a diet!) rules the day.

I'm not sure if I've adequately answered the question, but I hope this has been at least somewhat informative.


Thanks for reading, and good night!

Andrew

The World's Most Expensive Beers!

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As the Butler here in a billionaire's home,  I recently took advantage of our corporate health insurance and had an annual physical. 

All is well  --  except the B vitamins seem to be very low!  Hummm...

The Doctor (sweetheart that she is) ever-so-politely suggested there might be too much alcohol in this particular organism!   Ha!

You think?  In this high-stress job?

Having always avoided hard liquor, the pain-killer of choice is beer.  And as you probably know the varying ingredients in beer, including the yeast, can contain a great deal of the B's. 

But the kicker is -- apparently the alcohol in the beer flushes all these wonderful nutrients right out of the body -- along with other B's we might have stored up -- for a total net loss of B vitamins!  omg!

There is something so profoundly unfair about this!   Ha!

My employers, of course, can afford the very finest beers in the world to serve their guests, and I'm sometimes invited to join in. 

Did you know that Sam Adams has a high-end brew called Utopia that sells for $100-$150 per bottle!   And Carlsberg Vintage No. 3 is about $350 per bottle!  These are all special-ingredient, limited-editions, of course.   And there are even some out there for $1,000 each!  Woah!

While I try to keep some of  these beers on hand for my employers'  most important and special occasions, they generally serve a less-expensive but high-quality selection when it comes to large parties:

- Guinness Stout from Ireland.
- Heineken Blond, the Netherlands
- Dos Equis from Mexico.

In any case, whether it's one of these expensive beers or just a seven-dollar six pack -- my dearest doctor did not say "Stop drinking"!   But she did insist upon adding a B vitamin supplement!  (How wonderfully sweet and insightful is that!  Ha!)  

This is not a medical site by any means!  Just reporting what's up and what's going on.  And passing along some credible information. 

Any professional and/or scientific rebuttals suggesting alcohol doesn't flush out the B's would be most welcome!  lol!

Thanks for visiting! 

And good night,
Andrew