Where Rich People Shop: "Fortnum & Mason"!

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Honestly, I think this house where I serve as Butler would completely collapse were it not for Fortnum and Mason!

We depend upon this British store for so many things I can't even think straight:  teas, coffees, honey (they have their own bees), wines, chocolates, perfumes, and gifts for my employers to give to others.

And there is such a thing as overnight or second-day-air delivery, expensive though it may be!

This company has been around forever, dating back to Queen Anne in the 1700's!  (For all I know, they might have carried the original line of Queen Anne furniture styles --which survives to this day in furniture stores and households everywhere.)

And both the original founders, William Fortnum and his partner Hugh Mason, vehemently denied it was their tea that was tossed overboard in Boston Harbor -- during the beginnings of the America Revolution!  Ha!

In any case, this store is remarkable!  They've had many royal warrants over the decades, and we all know that Regina herself, Queen Elizabeth shops there!  (Although if I'm not mistaken, they close the store to other shoppers when the royals come in.  If anyone else knows more about this, please let me know!)

Whatever your household needs, you can't go wrong with this company!

Here's the link to the world famous Fortnum & Mason -- usually referred to as just "Fortnum's".

But beware, you can get lost in their spectacular webpage for hours!  And even shop online! 

So get out your credit cards, and have fun!  (And don't blame me when the bills come in!)

Thanks for stopping by tonight!

Andrew

Perpetual Inventory and the "Never Out" Storeroom!

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By any chance do you try to keep your household budget in check by purchasing supplies from Costco or Sam's Club?

Guess what?  So do the super rich!

In fact, one of the topics in Butler school was about saving money for our employers by purchasing in bulk.  And since I'm in control of the household budget, that burden is on my shoulders, the Butler here on this huge estate.

Our pantry and storeroom, honest to God, looks like a small convenience store!  There are multiples of every item, all perfectly lined up with the labels properly aligned.  And it's my job to see we never run out of anything!

That includes light bulbs (there are thousands that illuminate this property), printer ink and paper, fresh cheeses and grapes for an impromptu cocktail party, gardening supplies and all the various plant foods required, vacuum cleaner belts and bags, and on and on -- ad infinitum!

We can order a lot of products on line (by the case) and let UPS do all the footwork.  But I'm also a frequent visitor to Costco.

I have a dear friend named Cat (actually the wife of my nephew Jeff, which does not, by the way, disqualify her from being a friend!), who works for one of the heirs of the hugely rich Wrigley family in California.  Part of her job, as well, is keeping the "Never-Out" inventory up to date. 

In a post entitled "Why Billionaire's Hate Daylight Savings Time",  Bethany Kelsey left a comment asking about the household products we use around here, including laundry detergent and toilet tissue.  lol! 

What a fun question!  And while this is not a product endorsement page (with any kickbacks whatsoever), I don't mind telling you what products we use.

So, yes Bethany, we employ all the standard products.  Tide Original Scent.  (The Febreze scent added to so many products nowadays makes all of us sneeze around here.)  For the dishwasher, Cascade.  Scrub Bubbles for the sinks and toilets (but occasionally an abrasive like Comet). 

For marble care (as recommened by the Butler School), I order products on line by the case, from Stone Care International.  (You can actually call these people up and speak to an agent to describe you specific problems.)

Goddard's is my preference for silver care. (Only because I've heard through the grapevine that Regina herself uses Goddard's at Buckingham Palace!  If it's good enough for her, well then....!)

And as for toilet tissue, Bethany, apparently the rich have very sensitive butts.  And their wipes of choice is Charmin Ultra Soft.  Ha!  (At any given moment there's probaly fifty rolls on hand in the storeroom!)

So that about covers it. 

Butt wipes and all!  omg!

I better jump off !  There's a really boring cocktail party going on here this evening, but there's a caterer and bartender taking care of everything. 

Still, I need to get back and make sure all is going well. (And see if there's any left-over Beluga!) 

Thanks for stopping by tonight!

Andrew

 

Entertainers and the Rich!

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This post could get me into a lot of trouble!  (And I'll be  dreading the flood of hate mail!) 

But here goes.

In a recent post entitled "How Do You Greet Guests", I received an "Anonymous" comment that said:  "I've noticed you slightly bash Hollywood types.  Are they second class citizens or looked down upon in Richistan?"

This question gave me pause.  And I had to do some soul searching and serious research to come up with any kind of half-way intelligent answer.

But I'm going to say yes -- there seems to be a lingering prejudice among some circles in high society against "show people".  Singers, actors, and dancers.


In modern times (as you very well know), entertainers are at the very pinnacle of our culture!  We worship them as gods and follow their every move in tv news, magazines and tabloids.  We even change our looks, hair styles and fashions to be like them. 

All said and done, we adore our favorite stars!  And the Academy Awards each year attracts millions of viewers, all over the world!

Even Regina herself, Queen Elizabeth, jumps in on this -- knighting successful entertainers and recognizing their achievements:

Our beloved Sir Paul McCartney, Dame Edit Evans, Sir John Gielgud,    Dame Margaret Rutherford!  Not forgetting Dame Elizabeth Taylor.

But not so long ago in Regina's own country, actors were looked upon with scorn and mistrust!  In fact, women were forbidden to go on the stage, and men and boys had to play their roles.  The same for the Romans and ancient Greek tragedies.  No women on stage. 

In medieval times, traveling shows and show people were blamed for The Plague that killed half of Europe's population, for crimes (especially theft) and for promiscuity of every nature. 

And the Vatican was more than mildly alarmed by their presence and growing popularity!

As for entertainers being attracted to the rich, and vice versa?  Well, of course!  We have examples of this all the time.  (Marilyn Monroe and Howard Hughes?  What was that all about?)


But to get to the bottom of all this, the deep basic prejudice seems to be something like this: "They're not doctors or philosophers, or research scientists -- they're not great builders or inventors -- they're just show people." 

No doubt there's some jealousy involved in this kind of thinking, that entertainers get all the attention, and applause.  (Completely overlooking the talent that brought about their fame.)

But that's what I'm dealing with around here.  The old rich looking askew at show people, and the modern stars of today.


Before you go tonight, here's a link to Cher's "Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves".  

Her lyrics deal with this very topic in a frank and bold way -- "I was born in the wagon of a travellin' show, my mama used to dance for the money they'd throw....." 

Thanks for reading tonight.  And apologies all 'round if I've been offensive! 

But things are as they are.

I myself would probably have a slow coronary if Pitt and Jolie showed up at this house for cocktails!  Ha! 


Thanks for stopping by tonight,

Andrew

Dogs of the Rich!

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There seems to be a lot of interest about where canines fit into the lives of the rich.  In fact, if you google the words "rich people's dogs" you'll see literally tens of millions of articles!

We've all heard stories about diamond-studded collars, and lavish inheritances left to pets (i.e. Leona Helmsley).   And I have a vague memory of an event wherein Elizabeth Taylor chartered a private yacht to keep her Pekingese off shore to avoid the six-month quarantine to get a dog into England.  (Does anyone else remember that story?) 

If you've been reading for a while, you know we have two Great Danes here on the estate, and my rich employers seem to genuinely adore them. 

But their input into the dogs' care is minimal (make that non-existent), and their welfare in dumped entirely into my lap -- I, me, moi, the Butler!


There was an article in Forbes Magazine a while back by Liz Moyer, wherein she quotes Russ Alan Prince (President of Prince and Associates) who's organization authoritatively tracks the habits of the rich. 

Says Prince:  "For some wealthy people, the only true love they get is from their pets.  They're estranged from their children, they are at war with their business partners, but their pets are always there for them."

Sounds kind of sad, and cold.  Right? 

But I guess there's some truth to it. 

At least their pets are not asking them for business advice, or loans, or throwing investment opportunities in front of every step they take.  And I know for a fact neither of the Danes are begging them for charity contributions.

But lets take a look at the attention the Danes get.

Here's what my employers do for them: (All the fun stuff!)

1.  Admire them, and frequently pet and hug them.
2.  Sometimes they'll pick up a ball and throw it.
3.  They also pay for the groomer to come here once a week.  

And here's what the house staff does for them:  (All the work!)

1. Feed them twice a day, plus snacks.  (Our employers don't even know what they eat!)
2. Clean up their "accidents" in the house, which are all too frequent!
3. Give them their monthly heart worm and flea meds.
4. Get them to their regular and emergency vet appointments.
5. Administer whatever meds the vet prescribes.
6. Brush and check for fleas and ticks, between the groomer's visits.
7. Make sure they get enough outings and exercise. (The love to jump in the pool!)

Hummm........so who gets the short end of this deal?

Sometimes I get the feeling the Danes are just 'living ornaments' around here, along with all the other stuff my employers own.

And I wonder what a sincere dog lover would think about this.  Taking on a pet is a huge commitment, and dedication and responsibility, is it not?

My employers, however, effectively dodge all the mess and problems of pet ownership, and pass it off to their house staff.

Perhaps understandable, and very convenient.  Right?

But then -- they also pass off their children to a Nanny!  Ha!


Just some observations...

Good night,
Andrew

FAQ: "How Do You Greet Guests?"

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This is a fun question, and something that must be dealt with daily around here!

My rich employers love to entertain -- from small cocktail and dinner parties, to huge galas and events for hundreds of people! 

So guests are in and out of this house by the thousands on an annual basis!!!

And as the Butler greeting them at the front door, here's my problem -- and I sincerely hope this won't sound rude to anyone -- but these rich people all look more or less alike to me!  (omg, did I just say that?)  

Beautifully dressed in designer clothes, jewels and watches, both men and women.  Perfectly coiffed hair and makeup.   Face lifts that stretch out any distinguishing characteristics.  And the ever-present, way-too-happy attitudes they all present at these affairs.

I know my employers' regular guests, of course, and their closest friends whom I can call by name.

But by far the majority of guests here are just one big blur in a huge crowd of ten-thousand-dollar cocktail gowns, and the hundred-thousand-dollar jewelry they adorn themselves with.

So what am I to do?

If I say, "Good evening, how nice to meet you", I might very well have met them before!  (Bad, bad, bad!)

If I say, "Good evening, how nice to see you again",  I may very well have never seen them before in my life!  (Worse than bad!)

So I've settled on this one simple and unimpeachable greeting: 

"Good evening, how nice to see you."


Bland as it may be, this keeps me out of a lot of trouble!


But now, wait...

I'm going to admit right here and now I learned this perfect dodging technique from a lovely, charming lady who Forbes Magazine at one time called the "Richest Woman in America" -- Caroline Rose Hunt, one of the heirs to the H.L. Hunt oil fortune.  (It is said that this family inspired the tv series "Dallas", remember?)

She was my employer some years back in her line of luxury hotels for the rich and famous-- Rosewood Hotels and Resorts.

This dear lady crosses paths with Washington dignitaries, European royalty, successful businessmen from all walks of life, not to mention the flood of Hollywood types that gather and cling to the rich.

And how many time -- how many times -- have I heard her simply say:

"Good evening, how nice to see you." 



I hope this answered the question, and didn't put you to sleep!

Andrew

American Values!

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Have you ever heard the saying "Americans know the price of everything, and the value of nothing" ?

Aggravating, right?

You hear this most frequently when traveling in Europe, especially France of course.  But this week I heard it again at a cocktail party, spoken by a pompous woman from Paris (where else?) as if she had originated the thought herself.  (I gave her a hateful glare, but she pretended not to notice.)

In the first place, this bastardized quote is stolen from Oscar Wilde's play "Lady Windermere's Fan".  In answer to the question What is a cynic?, Lady Windermere's simple reply was, "A man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing."

So, there. 

Nothing to do with Americans at all!  Ha!

In the second place, it's rude to say this about us, and apply such a broad generalization to an entire population.  We may have some to whom this statement applies, but so do all countries. 

And third, it's simply not true that Americans don't know the value of things!

My billionaire employers are very much aware of both the cost and value of everything in their Richistan world.  (The source of much bickering, I might add.)

And I myself can quote the 'Value Menu' at Burger King -- word for word!


So all said and done, we Americans are not as dumb as you might think! 



Good night,

Andrew