tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24161498145005661382024-03-16T17:47:38.493-04:00 The Billionaire's Butler! By Andrew Arthur Williams -- A glimpse into the dazzling world of the super rich, from an insider's point of view! Andrew Williamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18169944719534148527noreply@blogger.comBlogger192125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2416149814500566138.post-29757924793204734632023-11-13T17:29:00.002-05:002023-11-14T17:21:09.015-05:00Do Rich People Cause Climate Change?<p>This ubiquitous question keeps popping up all over the place; are the rich and superrich responsible for climate change? It's become fashionable of course to blame them for everything. With their unlimited wealth to buy anything they wish, and with their jets and luxury yachts to travel whenever and wherever they wish, it seems only logical that they leave a heavier carbon footprint than those of us with less lavish lifestyles, patiently waiting for our once-a-year summer vacations. </p><p>But blindly scapegoating the rich for all our woes seems a little too convenient and hasty, and would suggest that we need to look deeper into their lives and behaviors before casting absolute judgement. To be sure, there's been a great deal of chatter lately about celebrities using their private jets and helicopters to hop around the Los Angeles area, just to avoid the traffic and congestion on the freeways. And who hasn't wised that we could do the same thing from time to time? But a while back Kylie Jenner was labeled a Full Time Climate Criminal on BuzzFeed! </p><p>As climate disasters become more intense and more frequent, threatening the very existence of life on this planet, we find ourselves asking how did we let this happen, how did we get into this mess in the first place? Which is when all the finger pointing and blame games start swinging into high gear.</p><p>What we think of as progress can frequently have unforeseen and undesirable consequences. As exciting as the invention of the automobile may have been back in 1908, when Henry Ford first built the Model-T he likely didn't consider the environmental damage of needing to drill for oil as a source of fuel. He probably couldn't have conceived of 145,000 gasoline stations spread across the country, or 48,750 miles of the Interstate Highway system. Nor could he have imagined the massive traffic jams or the 6 million injuries a year resulting in an estimated 46,000 deaths annually from car crashes. </p><p>Likewise the Wright Brothers could not have envisioned what Flight Aware estimates as 9,000 planes <i>at any given moment</i> circling the globe, polluting both the lower and upper atmospheres! When Covid-19 shut down air travel for a few days, the air began to clear up immediately. People living in India saw Mount Everest in Nepal to the north for the first time in their lives. In the United States the Milky Way became brighter and more visible than it had in decades. </p><p>Plenty of people rightfully want to blame the climate change deniers in the United States congress for preventing attempts to limit the use of fossil fuels. While I would never attempt to defend the indefensible, I would however point out that the problem is global, not just a United States issue. And while it's true that the Republican platform of free markets and limited restrictions can be at odds with Mother Nature, it's hard to imagine that they would want their children and grandchildren growing up on a polluted and increasingly unlivable planet any more than the rest of us. </p><p>So where does that leave us? While the 1% decidedly leave a heavier carbon footprint, the rest of us 99% are not blameless. We love our automobiles and the ability to come and go as we please, and we love to jet off to Europe and exotic destinations around the globe for our summer vacations.</p><p>Progress, which usually relies on science, got us into this mess to begin with, and we must hope and pray and rely upon science to get us out. The development of alternative sources of energy and electric cars is a good start. While the prospects for Green Hydrogen didn't work out so well, lately there has been considerable chatter and excitement about White Hydrogen being the solution for a non-polluting and plentiful source of fuel for the entire world, which we can pray will come true!</p><p>The 27th Conference of the Parties To The United Nations Framework Convention On Climate Change (referred to as COP27) has come and gone, and they will keep working in the future. Already there are rumors that John Kerry, the US Presidential Envoy to the conference, has met with his Chinese counter part Xie Zenhua on a few points of agreement between the two largest polluting superpowers before the COP28 conference coming up at the end of the year.</p><p>Following his father's life-long concern about the environment, Prince William admirably set up the EarthShot Prize in 2014 for what the BBC describes as "Innovative solutions to the world's greatest environmental challenges". </p><p>And private non-government groups are pitching in as well. For example there was a recent backlash in the United Kingdom about the environmental damage from Beyonce's extravagant world concert tour. It required 6 air freighters and 70 trucks to haul in all the equipment she needed to set up the stage, not leaving out arriving herself in her own private jet.</p><p>As a result more that one-hundred-thousand actors in the UK are backing a proposal for a "Green Rider"- an environmentally friendly clause to be written into their contracts between themselves the performers and the film and TV production companies to make shows smaller and greener. </p><p>This is how we get it done. One step at a time, with all of us taking responsibility to stop this dreadful cycle of freezing cold winters, droughts, rising sea levels and coastal flooding, not to mention deadly temperatures in the summers and massive fires all across the globe. As simplistic as this essay may sound, the urgency is real! Recently New York City got a whole month's worth of rain in <i>one day!.</i> Seeing the subways being flooded and cars floating down the avenues in Manhattan was profoundly disturbing! </p><p>The bottom line<b>: </b>we're all in this together - rich and poor, Republicans and Democrats, and it's up to all of us to do something about it. One step at a time, before time runs out.</p><p>As always, thank you for reading, </p><p>Andrew</p><p><br /></p>Andrew Williamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18169944719534148527noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2416149814500566138.post-65612066761101847132022-12-21T18:51:00.000-05:002022-12-21T18:51:44.360-05:00Holiday Cheers Within The World of the Rich!<p>From inside the walls of my gilded prison I just wanted to send holiday greetings to all who have followed this blog for so many years. I know I've not been writing much lately, but you have to admit it's been a rough year<b>:</b></p><p>No one, rich or poor, has been immune to the droughts and climate-change disasters from one end of the country to the other. Even as I'm writing this evening we're facing another "unprecedented" and potentially destructive Arctic blast right here before Christmas day.</p><p>To the shock of a nation and the whole world we've witnessed women's rights being stripped away before our very eyes by an over zealous Supreme Court. </p><p>With a lack of sensible gun control there's been multiple disastrous shootings all over the place that hurt our souls and shocked us to our roots!</p><p>There's Putin's bizarre and on-going war in Ukraine with his continual threat of using nuclear weapons. </p><p>Queen Elizabeth II, who has been on the throne throughout most of our lifetimes, died. Which distracted us for weeks.</p><p>We've been facing high gasoline prices and inflation that's hurting everyone, the poor most of all of course, as usual. </p><p>There's been the almost constant distraction of our former president's legal problems.</p><p>And then we've had the bruising mid-term elections that crushed right up against the holidays, making the season a little less festive - depending on which side of the fence you're on, I suppose.</p><p>But there's always room for hope. Gasoline prices have dropped dramatically, inflation is showing signs of easing, and the recent agreements among the United Nations Climate Change Conference (referred to as COP27) gives more reason for hope!</p><p>So with all sincerity I will say Happy Holidays and all best wishes for a Happy New Year! </p><p>Cheers, and as always, thank you so much for reading,</p><p>Andrew</p>Andrew Williamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18169944719534148527noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2416149814500566138.post-75586673356298559552021-12-21T21:23:00.000-05:002021-12-21T21:23:40.680-05:00A Billionaire's Christmas 2021<p>Well, well. Here we are at Christmastime again and it seems like we're in the same place we were two years ago. In 2020 Covid 19 first hit the scene and the whole world just shut down overnight. Airports were closed, schools and businesses closed, sports and entertainment events were shut down, and we were all quarantined in our apartments and homes all over the world. Shortages appeared everywhere - no milk, eggs, or canned goods in the supermarkets, and tissues, paper towels and toilet paper entirely disappeared.</p><p>In time we got new directives about hand washing, social distancing and wearing masks, and we slowly began to crawl out from that nightmare. Vaccines were put on the fast track and by the end of 2020 we began to get our first doses of life saving drugs. Long lines everywhere all over the world, but we did it and things began to slowly open up again and we struggled to get back to normal.</p><p>Then along came the Delta variant which brought a set back. But since we had learned so much and because so many of us had gotten vaccinated already, it didn't hit us anywhere near as badly as the first go round, and we continued along our path to normalcy. So much so that our pent-up desires for shopping created a shortage of products, and the whole maddening business of supply chain issues popped up.</p><p>We had planned a huge holiday gala here at the house with caterers, musicians, valet parkers, the whole nine yards to celebrate our liberation from Covid. When I ordered personalized embossed cocktail napkins and bathroom hand towels, the printer told us he couldn't get his hands on paper products. Okay, fine. I'll just buy generic napkins and towels from a party shop and hope that our guests are too boozed up to notice such a trifle. But when I found out that caviar and some important French champagnes were also in short supply, that's when my head practically exploded! What? </p><p>And now this new Omicron variant comes along and threatens a tsunami of infections, hospitalizations and death, especially among those who have not been vaccinated. Once again schools and universities are moving to online classes, Broadway theaters (even Hamilton) have shut down, and sports events all over the world have been cancelled.</p><p>Our gala has been cancelled too of course, but not by us, by the caterer themselves. So we didn't lose a deposit there. But how sad and frustrating is that? We still plan to go ahead with a few cocktail parties, but the guest list has been limited to a few responsible adults whom we assume have gotten their vaccines and booster. </p><p>After her bout with pneumonia and Covid last year, Dame Covington is afraid to go anywhere, and who could blame her? The poor old dear has invited me to a Christmas eve brunch to help her decorate her tree. Which is probably what I'll do. Going to my own family is out of the question this year under this new threat, and I do enjoy Dame Covington's company. She has some wonderful heirloom tree ornaments which I'm looking forward to seeing. Not to mention that her eggnog, spiked with a Louis XIII bottle of brandy from Cognac, France (roughly $3,850 a bottle) is to die for!</p><p>None of us knows what's about to hit us in the next few months or the coming new year. Nonetheless I do hope you're planning to have some nice holiday celebrations with family and friends, no matter what. Thanks for stopping by tonight. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!</p><p>And by all means, stay safe!</p><p>Andrew </p><p> </p>Andrew Williamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18169944719534148527noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2416149814500566138.post-71725333697916060212021-06-22T19:39:00.002-04:002021-06-22T19:59:10.424-04:00Getting Back To Normal In The Abnormal World Of The Super Rich!<p>It's been a long while since I last posted and I'm not quite sure how to get started again. Or even <i>where</i> to begin. But as the COVID panic slowly begins to subside and things are starting to open back up, hope and excitement are coming back into play - somewhat obscuring the utter shock we were in when the sky came crashing down last year.</p><p>While it all might seem like a blur at this point, nonetheless practically overnight the whole world just shut down, didn't it? Everything stopped, but everything! Social engagements came to a screeching halt and we suddenly found ourselves isolated in our own homes and apartments. The airlines shut down, schools closed, restaurants, bars, gyms, movie theaters, even city parks all closed. And <i>running</i> daily errands came to a frustrating crawl since gasoline stations began to run low on fuel, and nothing was open anyway.</p><p>The virus and shutdown had no socio-economic boundaries of course, meaning the rich and super rich were hit as unexpectedly as everyone else, even the poorest of the poor. Looking back a year later, it can almost be thought of as comical. Like the very first episode of <a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt3526078/"><i>Schitt's Cr</i><i>eek</i></a> wherein an unlucky rich family went bankrupt. Not only were they unceremoniously plucked out of their luxury mansion, but then they were plunked down at a cheap two-room motel in a cheesy little town called Schitt's Creek. </p><p>But it really wasn't funny at all, was it? With almost everything else closed, at least the grocery stores struggled to stay open.Who could ever have imagined that going to the supermarket would be the social highlight of the day? But then after standing in long lines, the shelves were mostly empty once we got inside. Basic staples like bread, milk, pasta, canned meats, tuna, baby food and cereal - all gone! And no tissues, paper towels or toilet paper whatsoever. </p><p>Mercifully at this house where I work, and like most rich families, we have what's referred to as a "Perpetual Pantry" that's well stocked with all kinds of basic food and household supplies. Dried beans, rice, flour, sugar, salt, powdered milk, canned meats, fish and vegetables, candles, batteries, and big bundles of paper products from Costco - which carried us through the worst part. Some rich people fled to their yachts or private islands, only to run into the same problem with food running out and stores in the ports were either closed or empty. </p><p>Most people, of course, were not so lucky in having a well-stocked pantry or a private island, I know that. It was shocking and so heartbreaking to see news reports of thousands of people lined up for food and water. Which was when I started to contribute to local food banks and convinced the Mister to do the same. He has a long list of charities he contributes to on an ongoing basis, but I'm happy to tell you that he dumped a chunk of money into area food banks - which I hope will continue down the road. </p><p>There for a while we thought we had lost Dame Covington. She had already been in the hospital with double pneumonia for over a week. Then she was finally discharged, with nurse's aides coming to her home twice a day. However in no time at all she was back in the hospital, apparently contracting the COVID virus from one of the aides! At her age and in her already-weakened condition (and in spite of all of our prayers) none of us really expected her to live. But she's a strong old bird and live she did, slowly now regaining her strength and vigor. </p><p>When the new vaccines came along, it seemed like a miracle to think we could suddenly become immune to a murderous virus that had killed millions across the globe. My employer, who doesn't even get annual flu shots, was reluctant at first. But his new nutty girlfriend (who can be surprisingly rational at times) convinced him that future European travel might depend upon a vaccine passport. While that has not yet come to pass, it was enough to convince him at the time. In any case, all of us here - the Mister, the girlfriend, the house staff, the groundskeepers and I have received our two doses and feeling good about it. Soon we'll be hosting our first fully-catered cocktail event, complete with a small chamber orchestra and Dame Covington is definitely on the guest list, even if I have to pick her up myself. So it appears we're slowly getting back to normal in the abnormal world of the super rich.</p><p>With over six-hundred-thousand of our friends and loved ones in the United States alone dying from the virus, as well as the near-universal economic devastation, I doubt that any of us have gotten through this ordeal completely unscathed. If you're still reading this blog after this long dreadful nightmare, I do sincerely appreciate it and hope that healing, recovery and a brighter future is ahead for all of us.</p><p>As always, thanks for stopping by tonight,</p><p>Andrew</p><p> </p><p><br /></p>Andrew Williamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18169944719534148527noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2416149814500566138.post-74899580830048249822020-05-02T17:58:00.000-04:002020-05-02T17:58:53.490-04:00THE TIMES OF LONDON: "Lock-Down Disasters of the Super-Rich Revealed!"In the last post entitled <a href="http://www.thebillionairesbutler.com/2020/03/" target="_blank"><i>Coronavirus and the Rich</i></a> I was detailing some observations on how the rich and super-rich are dealing with this sudden freeze in our lives and the abrupt halt to their high-society social activities.<br />
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I mentioned how it's most certainly easier for them to isolate themselves in their large estates and multiple homes. I also noted that with their private jets and yachts they can travel much more safely than we, the great unwashed. And I also touched on how they can better limit their exposure to the virus because they have house staff - servants, butlers and personal assistants - to run their daily errands to the market, pharmacies and of course to the liquor stores and wine shops.<br />
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But that's where I left off and didn't address the obvious<b>;</b> what happens if all the servants and assistants are in lock-down too, and can't show up for work?<br />
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Now comes this excellent and amusing article from the <i><a href="https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/no-staff-how-the-super-rich-are-coping-in-lockdown-jkk8z2lpn" target="_blank">Times of London</a> (April 29, 2020) </i>by Lucy Challenger, founder of Polo and Tweed (a recruitment agency that supplies staff to the ultra rich) dealing with this very issue of what actually happens when servants can't come to work! To quote Ms Challenger<b>:</b><br />
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<i>"Seeing as we're all in this lockdown together, let us spare a thought for the super-rich. In castles, palaces and penthouses across the land, oligarchs, royals, hedge-funders and trust-funders are having to confront a terrible truth: toilets do not clean themselves. Marble is a devil to look after. And keeping the silverware sparkling is surprisingly hard work. People are wanting to know -literally-how to do the laundry. They've never used a washing machine before. We explain how to understand the settings, how to separate items. To you and me, maybe this is common sense, but if you've never had to do it before, it's a bizarre new world of skills." </i><br />
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In her succinct and understated British style of humor, she goes on to caution against do-it-yourself cleaning techniques without proper professional staff to help out. Said she, <i>"Chandeliers, it transpires, are a whole world of hurt, so be grateful if you don't have one." </i>Which made me laugh so hard I had to wipe away tears. It reminded me of my own feeble attempt to deal with this subject in a post entitled <a href="http://www.thebillionairesbutler.com/2011/05/how-to-clean-chandelier.html" target="_blank">"How to Clean a Chandelier"</a> back in 2011.<br />
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Ms Challenger's <a href="https://poloandtweed.com/" target="_blank">Polo and Tweed</a> is a premiere agency that matches well-trained house staff, in their various skills and capacities with the perfect employer, all across the globe. You might be wondering if I'm on their registry list? The answer to that would be no. In fact, I can only imagine how Ms Challenger would roll her eyes if I even applied.<br />
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Although I did graduate from a respectable household management school here in America, I know I could never compete with a proper British butler. I'm content with being an apostate American butler to this nutty old billionaire I'm working for at the moment. Who, by the way, has been hiding out at his gentleman's farm for the past month, along with his latest girlfriend of course. Which doesn't hurt my feelings one bit.<br />
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As always, thanks for dropping by this evening. I hope we're all staying safe as the world slowly comes to grips with the nightmare we're all facing.<br />
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Andrew<br />
<br />Andrew Williamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18169944719534148527noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2416149814500566138.post-41053307915989704542020-03-30T19:20:00.000-04:002020-03-30T19:20:20.630-04:00Coronavirus and the Rich!<br />
While we're all trapped in our homes during this dreadful plague, I'm getting a lot of questions about how the rich are handling all this. It's so easy to slip into daydreams and think that having lots of money might somehow mitigate the crisis and boredom at hand. Being right here on the front lines, I'm happy to share my observations and perhaps shed some light on both the daydreams and reality of what's going on around here these days.<br />
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<i>Are rich people as isolated and bored as all the rest of us?</i> The answer to that question is a definite yes! Their Spring Social Season has been decimated. Spring fashion shows have been cancelled. All the elegant cocktail parties, dazzling galas and fund-raising events have been put on hold. (Although I'm hearing that the fund raisers have moved online and they're still expected to contribute - even though they don't get to go in person to show off all their latest haute couture, winter face lifts, and all the new bling from Cartier's, Tiffany's, and Harry Winston.) Then, of course, beauty shops and luxury spas being closed doesn't help out the situation one bit, does it?<br />
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<i>Do the rich get better medical care? </i>Since it's a novel (new) virus, meaning there's no vaccine and no treatments available to date, the answer is an emphatic no. With their expensive private doctors, the rich don't have any better access to medical care or cures than the poorest of the poor in a charity hospital. Having said that, it's entirely possible that if they get desperately sick they can find or bribe their way into a private hospital room, rather than being shuffled off to a triage tent or lining the hospital walls on an army cot. And perhaps they can get a ventilator ahead of the line. I don't know about that or if it's actually going on or not - and I really don't want to think that is happening. We're all in this together, aren't we?<br />
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<i>Can the rich better protect themselves than all the rest of us? </i>This is an interesting question that requires some thought. But before I even begin, it is certainly true that the rich can isolate themselves better than most of us. And here's some random thoughts on that:<br />
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- There's a handful of super-paranoid super rich people around the world who actually have underground bunkers to escape nuclear wars, revolutions, and perhaps a virus like we currently have going on. But the silliness of that is that sooner or later they're going to need supplies from the surface, or a repairman to come down and fix their washing machine, right?<br />
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- Quite a few rich people own their own private islands in the Caribbean or Mediterranean - which makes for a much happier isolation than an underground bunker, in my opinion.<br />
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- Since many of the super rich have their own private jets and yachts, they're not as exposed as those who travel on commercial airlines or cruise ships.<br />
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- As noted in a previous blog post a while back, multiple homes for the rich is quite common. Some even have gentleman farms and ranches where they could retreat and grow gardens and raise chickens, which makes sense to me. (My employer is in this category, and he's been gone for days.)<br />
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- Then of course the rich have house staff and personal assistants to run their errands (some idiot like me) to stand on long lines at the market to fetch food - therefore greatly limiting their own daily exposure.<br />
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- Even British and European royalty, with their multiple estates and castles, are having a hard time dodging this calamity. The news from Buckingham Palace is so very sad this past week.<br />
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I don't know what else to say tonight. But the rest of us can protect ourselves too. Social distancing is the key. Personal hygiene like frequent hand washings is most certainly helpful. A good diet that keeps the immune system strong should also be helpful, one would think.<br />
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As for staying sane and fighting off boredom, who knows? I miss going to the gym and seeing my friends there like crazy. But we could utilize the downtime to take some online college courses or perhaps to develop our hobbies. I hear there's an interest and increased online sales of easels, canvasses, and oil paints and brushes for those who have always wanted to take up painting but never found the time. Then of course we could always catch up on our reading lists. There's a stack of books in my apartment that has been there for months! And we could also perhaps pick up a language from Berlitz online schools. Myself, I'm going to brush up on Italian in the hope of traveling there again someday when this nightmare has lifted.<br />
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As always, thanks for stopping by tonight.<br />
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Stay safe, stay strong! And try to stay positive. There's an end to this someday...<br />
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Dare I say, Cheers! 🍸🍹🍻<br />
Andrew<br />
<br />Andrew Williamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18169944719534148527noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2416149814500566138.post-7954926642041176222020-02-25T19:37:00.000-05:002020-02-25T19:37:06.666-05:00Fat Tuesday and Happy Lent 2020!Dear God, I don't know how it crept up on me this year, but Lent begins this very night at midnight! And tomorrow is Ash Wednesday! It has come early this year and I've made no preparations whatsoever.<br />
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Usually I put off New Year's Resolutions (which are supposed to last a whole year, right?) until Lent, which is only forty days and theoretically much more manageable. But still I've got nothing.<br />
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The question always arises this time of year, "What are you giving up for Lent?" And I'm drawing a blank. In fact, I just put up a Twitter Tweet asking if "doing only half of a bad thing counts as a good thing?" What do you think? Would that work, or is it an immediate pathway to hell?<br />
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My employer doesn't participate in Lent in any way. Although I think he might should! The last couple of months between Christmas and Valentine's have been crazy as all get out. As if this house were a hotel with a revolving door at the front entrance, his parade of new girlfriends seem to come and go at an increasingly alarming rate.<br />
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The minute we grow accustomed to and comfortable with one woman, she's out the door and a new one comes in. The trigger seems to be when they start talking about marriage, or wanting an engagement ring. Some of these ladies play it slowly and carefully and the relationship lasts for a couple of years before they start getting demanding. But the last one, who moved in here and tried to take over the house only lasted six weeks before she was booted out. Which didn't hurt my feelings one bit to see her pack up and go.<br />
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But it's like we don't have a normal routine around here anymore. Like we're out of the loop with the normal flow in planning for future events throughout the coming year, simply because we don't know who or what to plan for.<br />
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Anyhow, I just wanted to check in and say Happy Lent if you're Catholic and trying to participate this year. It's only forty days after all. Forty long miserable days. But we'll get through it.<br />
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As always, thanks for stopping by this evening.<br />
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Andrew<br />
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Andrew Williamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18169944719534148527noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2416149814500566138.post-48866753482138002232020-01-29T19:51:00.000-05:002020-01-29T19:51:14.989-05:00January Blues 2020!Not unlike a dreaded postpartum depression, it happens every year around here after all the hullabaloo of the holidays has passed and the winter blues set in. All that excitement about gift shopping, decorating, cocktail parties, fund raisers, galas and formal sit-down dinners for family and friends gives way to absolute idleness and bickering until the Spring Social Season starts to wind up. Unless of course you're a winter sports aficionado, in which case this is your favorite time of year on the ski slopes of <a href="https://www.google.com/search?rlz=1C1GGRV_enUS748US748&biw=1366&bih=667&tbm=isch&sa=1&ei=o9MwXrP3L-qC9PwP3dWR-Ac&q=aspen+ski+slopes&oq=aspen+ski+slopes&gs_l=img.12..0j0i8i30j0i24.27201.33334..36433...0.0..0.124.1252.20j1......0....1..gws-wiz-img.......0i67j0i7i30j0i5i30.E2n9D_EaLwU&ved=0ahUKEwjz1PfKyKfnAhVqAZ0JHd1qBH8Q4dUDCAc" target="_blank">Aspen</a> or <a href="https://www.google.com/search?q=zermatt&rlz=1C1GGRV_enUS748US748&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiU1Jf6yafnAhXBKM0KHTJtCmoQ_AUoAXoECBQQAw&biw=1366&bih=667" target="_blank">Zermatt</a> with all the après ski parties each evening into the wee hours of the morning..<br />
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There's still a couple of deep-winter perks to come: Super Bowl Sunday on February 2 can in some circles require caterers, bartenders, valet parkers, perhaps even outdoor tents with big-screen audio-visual techs on hand. Plus the Academy Awards on February 9 can often be a time for high fashion dress up parties, whether in a private home or especially if viewing from a private club or a luxury hotel ballroom. Not forgetting that many of the rich and super rich will be attending the event itself at the Dolby Theater in Hollywood.<br />
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Then of course Valentine's Day on February 14 always creates a hubbub among the rich. Like, what to do? What to get for your most beloved, which might even be your wife? A new car? A new plane? A luxurious week in Zermatt? In any case, it's always a hey-day for Tiffany's, <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pgj_zVy8SKk" target="_blank">Cartier</a>, and Harry Winston. Not to mention <a href="https://www.google.com/search?q=master+chocolatier+in+belgium&rlz=1C1GGRV_enUS748US748&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwj1x_CBz6fnAhXZVc0KHdEaDc0Q_AUoAnoECBEQBA&biw=1366&bih=667" target="_blank">Master Chocolatiers</a> in Switzerland and Belgium.<br />
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This holiday season has been a little strange around here. I've mentioned in several posts about the long line of girlfriends streaming in and out of my employer's life since the scandalous divorce some years back. Some of them last for a few months, some for two or three years. But in December there was this new one who swooped down on us, I kid you not, like the Wicked Witch of the West!<br />
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After only a couple of weekends of dating my employer, she moved herself in here lock stock and barrel. By that I mean a big truck arrived with all her stuff - clothes, shoes, and boxes and boxes of files - like she was going to be here forever. She even brought her own Christmas tree decorations and insisted we add them to our own traditional tree. Then she immediately started giving orders to our house staff about her laundry and food preferences, and she asked the groundskeeper to keep her car washed at all times. She even tried to turn me into her personal assistant - which I totally rejected.<br />
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But it doesn't end there. She also dumped her full-grown dog in our laps, which freaked out our own dogs really bad. And she asked my employer's Personal Secretary at the office to get her a new computer, printer, and a new big-screen TV for the Master Bedroom. "I only like to watch Samsung TVs" was her explanation. Seriously?<br />
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Needless to say, we were all reeling about this new crazy woman and her take-over of the house. One day I was escorting a technician from Direct TV around the house to upgrade all the TV receivers when she came up and introduced herself as "the lady of the house". Which was news to me! Really? I thought she was only a temporary guest!<br />
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Mercifully after about six weeks my employer had seemingly had enough. For reasons I'm not yet privy to, that same truck that brought her in here came back and hauled her and her dog out, again lock stock and barrel in one brief afternoon. And our dogs seem to be so very grateful and relaxed these few days following. We'll see what the next girlfriend might bring, but I tell you this - the last one was a real doozy!<br />
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I hope your deep winter blues, if any, are going well. But every passing day is a count down until spring and renewal, right?<br />
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As always, thanks for stopping by this evening.<br />
<br />
Andrew<br />
<br />Andrew Williamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18169944719534148527noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2416149814500566138.post-55056542645682365172019-12-22T19:07:00.000-05:002019-12-22T19:08:44.663-05:00Happy Holidays 2019!Ahhh! After all the preparations, shopping, decorating and sheer hard work, the payoff is finally here and the holidays are upon us!<br />
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I don't know about you but I'm fairly well exhausted myself. While I'm looking forward as to how it all unfolds, I'm also looking forward to January 2 when it's all finally over and deep, deep winter sets it. A sweet period of rest and respite before the spring social season starts winding up.<br />
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Holiday preparations this year have been especially difficult for two reasons. The first being that house renovations (mostly painting and plumbing) have been underway at the same time we've been trying to decorate both the interior and exterior of the house for Christmas, which has been tricky. (Mud tracked through the carpets next to the Christmas tree is not a welcome sight!)<br />
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But the other is my employer's new déclassé lady friend who seems like she doesn't know upside from down most of the time. It's not her fault that she's lost in this world of the super rich, and she seems sincere enough in her affections toward my eighty-year-old employer. But her lack of social skills has been maddening. We got through the small Thanksgiving and pre-Christmas cocktail parties without her messing anything up. But suddenly she's decided to throw a soirée of her own to introduce her friends to my employer, right between Christmas and New Year's. And she announced it to me as though I'd take care of everything. But no, no, no!<br />
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Her guest list started out at about twenty-five, but swelled to eighty-five when my employer heard about it and decided to add some of his friends as well. Mind you, before my employer's scandalous divorce we've had galas in this house for literally hundreds of people, so eighty-five seems like nothing to me. But this new woman just started to spin around like a child's toy top, as though she had never had to deal with so many guests. To help her out I introduced her to our caterers, and convinced her she needs a bartender and valet parkers. Mercifully this particular time frame is dead for them, so they are able to accommodate her.<br />
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But of course with such a late decision she was not able to send out Save-The-Date notices followed by formal invitations to anyone, just phone calls and emails. So her RSVP drop-out rate is a whopping 50%, compared to the usual 20% for a well-planned event. Honestly I'll be surprised if even forty people show up<br />
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I hope your holiday preparations have gone more smoothly than mine, and that your drop-out rate is only 20% or even less!<br />
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As always, thank you so much for reading and following along this year! Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and all best wishes for a happy and curious New Year!<br />
<br />
Andrew <br />
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<br />Andrew Williamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18169944719534148527noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2416149814500566138.post-24318184282481825372019-11-24T19:24:00.000-05:002019-11-26T17:56:16.487-05:00THE ART OF THE HOST by Alex HitzWith Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah and New Years Eve bearing down upon us in rapid order, most of us have been racking our brains to come up with something unique and fresh for our events and festivals. Even with the help of our events planner and caterers, that's certainly the case around here and my nerves are slightly frayed. Even with tried-and-true recipes and decorations, there's always a way to tweak things so that the event will not only be successful but also different and memorable for our family and friends.<br />
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One of my dearest friends recently hosted a book-signing party for her long time pal Alex Hitz - <i>"The very best host in the world" - </i>according to the Wall Street Journal. And she was kind enough to send me a signed copy! Filled with exciting ideas for planning a party and complete with his best recipes, Alex even added a chapter called <i>"The Art of the Guest"</i> which I skipped to first thing, being that it touches my own world as a butler and how guests are theoretically supposed to behave.<br />
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Published by none other than Rizzoli International, you can see this sumptuous book and actually take a look inside at this Amazon link: <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Art-Host-Recipes-Flawless-Entertaining/dp/0847863557/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1S7JKS6Y2G4NJ&keywords=the+art+of+the+host+by+alex+hitz&qid=1574636226&sprefix=The+Art+of+the+Host%2Caps%2C160&sr=8-1" target="_blank">The Art of the Host; Recipes and Rules for Flawless Entertaining by Alex Hitz</a><br />
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Also, more than once in this blog I've recommended a book by the famous Washington DC hostess Sally Quinn. Full of gossip and hysterical from start to finish, Quinn's philosophy for parties was to always expect a disaster!<br />
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She didn't feel her events were a true success unless some famous Senator, Congressman or Hollywood persona fell over drunk in the floor and had to be escorted home. She describes what happened one time when her caterers got the date wrong and she had to order buckets of Kentucky Fried Chicken for her fancy guests! And she goes on to call out other DC hostesses whose parties were a flop and why, which created no end to gossip and scandal! Also available on Amazon Books, here's a link to <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Party-Sally-Quinn/dp/0684811448/ref=sr_1_fkmr0_1?keywords=sally+quinn+adventures+in+entertaining&qid=1574637212&s=books&sr=1-1-fkmr0" target="_blank">The Party; Adventures in Entertaining</a>.<br />
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So, armed with Alex Hitz and Sally Quinn, how could I possibly go wrong with planning any event around here? (And then, why am I still so agitated?)<br />
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I hope your party plans are going smoothly! Whether it's a dazzling gala, a small cocktail buffet, or a traditional family dinner with beloved handed-down family recipes, I'm sure you'll make every effort to make it fun and memorable for all.<br />
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As always, thanks for dropping by this evening. I'm quite exhausted myself, but excited at the same time. We just have to plow on through, right?<br />
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Andrew Andrew Williamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18169944719534148527noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2416149814500566138.post-37430461286978434792019-10-16T18:41:00.000-04:002019-10-16T18:41:44.464-04:00Winter Furniture and Mink Throws for the Rich!With leisurely summer vacations and the autumn solstice now behind us, it's that time of year again to knuckle down and face the hectic Fall Social Season as well as the onslaught of holidays ahead. Except for the Pillsbury Dough Boy, I haven't seen any Christmas ads on TV yet. But as soon as Halloween is over you know very well that all hell is about to break loose. It's exciting to be sure, but scary as well with all the crazy work coming up!<br />
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Of course in major homes (like this one where I work) the house staff, secretaries, personal assistants and events planners get an early jump on all this, starting in mid-summer. We've already had our Christmas cards designed and printed, and they're going to the calligrapher in November as soon as we finalize the list - the usual fuss about who's in and who's out this year.<br />
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More importantly, we've already pinpointed the dates for a major fundraiser, two political cocktail buffets, and the annual Christmas gala for friends and family. All of which makes it easier for our events planner to schedule caterers, musicians, florists, house decorators, valet parkers and security, with plenty of time to design party invitations and save-the-date notices.<br />
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On my end, I have to keep up with all the <a href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=2416149814500566138#editor/target=post;postID=8700249719593591080;onPublishedMenu=allposts;onClosedMenu=allposts;postNum=114;src=postname" target="_blank">gift shopping</a> for the season and make sure that all goes smoothly and timely, especially for gifts that must be shipped overseas. Mercifully I have our personal shopper to lean on for most of the heavy lifting. But my other big task this month is to bring down all the winter furniture and trappings from the attic.<br />
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What? What's that you might ask?<br />
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I know, right! But it's true. While most of us have furnishings and accessories that suffice us year round in our comfy homes and apartments, not so for the super rich. There's such a thing as spring and summer furniture and fabrics, versus autumn and winter.<br />
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<a href="https://www.google.com/search?q=summer+fabrics&rlz=1C1GGRV_enUS748US748&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjHvuXN15flAhVBb60KHbluAxoQ_AUIEygC&biw=782&bih=476" target="_blank">Lightweight breathable fabrics</a> with airy light colors and floral prints are for spring and summer furnishings, of course. <a href="https://www.google.com/search?q=winter+fabrics&rlz=1C1GGRV_enUS748US748&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjl2aXI2JflAhUFMawKHdfgDyQQ_AUIEygC&biw=1366&bih=667" target="_blank">Heavier fabrics</a> (such as wool, tweed, flannel and corduroy) with darker solid colors and plaids are for the autumn and winter months - providing a warm and inviting look on cold wintry evenings.This goes for bed clothes (sheets, pillow cases, bedspreads, duvets and shams) as well as draperies, curtains, furniture pillows and throw blankets. So we've got a lot of work to do in switching the house from summer to winter.<br />
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I have to tell you that in this house most of the throw blankets are made of genuine mink, although there's a big one in the Family Room made of <a href="https://www.master-furrier.com/fur-blankets-fur-throws/chinchilla/" target="_blank">Chinchilla</a>. Which reminds me, I need to run get them out of cold storage where we send send them during hot summer months - along with the household furs. But in case you're curious, for more information about fur throws you might check out <a href="https://www.fursource.com/fur-blankets-c-92_43.html" target="_blank">this website</a>. They have many different furs from mink to rabbit to suit anyone's budget. Well, except for mine I guess. But I'm totally cool (which is to say warm) with my old-fashioned cotton quilts.<br />
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The whole subject of furs is intriguing and complicated. Certainly I'm aware of PETA's stance on animal rights and their objection to rich people wearing furs for the sake of glamour - and they have a point. Indeed, just this week California became the first US state to ban the manufacture and sale of clothing items made from furs. Prada has announced they'll eliminate furs in their future fashion lines. And a major world-famous department store, Selfridges in London, has announced limited sales of exotic skins.<br />
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But furs have been a part of human history since the dawn of time in keeping people warm - from cave dwellers in prehistoric days right up through British royalty and the glitz and glamour of Hollywood. The argument is strong that with modern fabrics and manufacturing techniques the need for furs to keep humans warm is no longer necessary. So it becomes a matter of personal conscience, asethetics, and the passion for beauty that keeps furs in the picture. If Regina ever stops wearing those <a href="https://www.google.com/search?rlz=1C1GGRV_enUS748US748&biw=1366&bih=667&tbm=isch&sa=1&ei=K-GkXYLlBuSf_QaIjZawDw&q=queen+elizabeth%27s+ermine+furs&oq=queen+elizabeth%27s+ermine+furs&gs_l=img.12...58638.63460..66586...0.0..0.61.168.3......0....1..gws-wiz-img.2ayb_NduCHs&ved=0ahUKEwjCprDm0ZzlAhXkT98KHYiGBfYQ4dUDCAc" target="_blank">exquisite ermine furs</a> when she's holding court at Buckingham Palace, then perhaps we'll witness a sea change in this social delimna. We'll just have to wait and see where all this goes. <br />
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Sorry for straying so far off topic, but it's a fascinating and confounding subject. All of this assumes we'll even have a winter this year anyway, but with climate change and all, who knows, right? I guess the most prudent thing to do is to keep going on with traditions as if all is well and nothing is wrong.<br />
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I hope your plans for autumn and the holidays are going smoothly and that you don't have to break your backs dragging winter furniture down from the attic. And by all means, don't forget to grab your furs out of cold storage before the winter chill sets in.<br />
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As always, thanks for stopping by this evening,<br />
Andrew<br />
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<br />Andrew Williamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18169944719534148527noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2416149814500566138.post-265247675195575312019-08-18T17:45:00.000-04:002019-08-18T17:45:15.689-04:00Lab Notes: National Dog Day 2019!Hello dear ones,<br />
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My name is Nash. I'm Andrew's Yellow Lab. There's another canine fellow living here too named Nick, a Golden Retriever. He's a real piece of work that one, and wouldn't retrieve anything if his life depended on it - but more about him later.<br />
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Technically we belong to Mr. Farber, the rich man who owns this house and three-acre property. But Andrew is our go-to guy for treats, walks in the park, and unpleasant visits to our vet. Basically we're outdoor dogs, mainly because the humans around here are afraid we'll shed or pee or poop inside the house - which is more Nick's fault than mine, but I get blamed for it too.<br />
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Anyhow, it's been really hot today so Andrew let us go upstairs to his garage apartment to chill and watch TV. While he's out running errands, I'm taking the opportunity to jump on his laptop (which he really doesn't like!) to remind you that <a href="https://www.nationaldogday.com/" target="_blank">National Dog Day</a> is coming up on the 26th on this month. I thinks it's so cool how it corresponds with the Dog Days of Summer, which Nick and I have both enjoyed immensely.<br />
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The thing is, we've got it good here with our rich owners; plenty of food and treats, a really fun groomer coming once a week to tidy us up, and there's a huge infinity swimming pool in the back yard that's open all night. Rich people have a thing for pedigreed dogs like me and Nick, which I don't fully understand. But I can't help but worry about all the homeless dogs I see out there roaming around on the streets without pedigrees, and the desperate ones in shelters.<br />
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There's so much we can all do to help. Like when Andrew takes me to Petco (one of the few pitiful stores that lets my species come in) he always hits the "Donate" button to shelters when we get to the cash register. In fact, rich humans can add animal shelters to their charity list (especially the no-kill ones!) and many of them do already. They and we can also donate our time just to go to the shelters to pet and play with all the abandoned cats and dogs who need affection so badly.<br />
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Humans can also volunteer to be temporary foster parents until a permanent home can be found for lonely souls. Nick told me he had foster parents at one point in his life but they took him back and exchanged him for a cat, which wouldn't surprise me one bit! But I'm pretty sure he said that just to scare and intimidate me. I know for a fact (from his chart at the vet) that he's been here since he was a little pup.<br />
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It's not that Nick is a bad guy, but he really gets on my nerves. He got to this house first and claimed his territory. Ok, fine, I understand that. But then when I came along he was totally indignant and never lets me forget for one minute that this is his place. If someone dares to pet me on the head, he'll absolutely knock me over to get his own head petted. When it's time for treats, he gets his first or otherwise there's a scuffle.<br />
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Then if Andrew or anyone else is throwing tennis balls (which I LOVE to chase) Nick just lays there like "Let that other fool run after it". Which makes me furious! Some retriever, huh?<br />
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His whole game is controlling the balls, not running after them. And he will spend his entire miserable day trying to get the ball away from me. Like if I go down to the pool to take or swim, or god forbid take a nap, then BOOM! the ball is gone! Seriously, the guy has issues which really drive me mad. (Well, not that kind of mad; I have all my rabies shots and can prove it!)<br />
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Uh oh! I just heard Andrew's car door slam! He'll be coming up the stairs any minute! Gotta close his laptop quick and curl up in a corner, like I'm sleeping!<br />
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Until next time...<br />
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Woof,<br />
Nash<br />
Andrew Williamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18169944719534148527noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2416149814500566138.post-10827207915832965492019-07-23T17:31:00.000-04:002019-07-23T17:31:00.320-04:00Unique Christmas Gifts for the Rich!Yes, I know it's only the middle of summer. But while our rich employers are frolicking on the beach at their summer retreats, I assure you that all over the globe personal assistants, personal secretaries, personal shoppers, and house manager/butlers like me are already busy making plans for Christmas.<br />
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As absurd as that may sound, it's absolutely urgent to pin down holiday parties so that you can get the event planner, the caterer, florist, musicians, tent-rental company, valet parkers and security all on the same page for the same date.<br />
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It also takes time to design and print holiday greeting cards, save-the-date notices, party invitations, and thank-you notes - especially if you're engaging a noted designer of some repute. Then, for your closest friends and loved ones, if you're Christmas gift this year includes a luxury car with a custom designed interior, that takes the motor companies time, right? Likewise custom designed jewelry; it takes time to research and pick out the best stones, and then to decide upon the right setting.<br />
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Moreover, there's the endless gifts to the vast array of friends and associates to figure out, which in the world of the rich and super rich can be extremely complicated and tricky. So yes, Christmas plans start early in this crazy nutty world. Over the past few years I've written several posts describing ideas and distinctive gifts that might aid in the struggle.<br />
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In a post called <a href="http://www.thebillionairesbutler.com/2016/12/luxury-gifts-for-rich-and-super-rich.html" target="_blank">Luxury Gifts for the Rich and Super Rich</a> I recommended perusing the Neiman Marcus Christmas Catalog, or wandering through the London Silver Vaults for unique gifts, which still holds true today. In <a href="http://www.thebillionairesbutler.com/2017/11/" target="_blank">The Orient Express </a>I mentioned gifts of travel being the up and coming thing, which always creates a stir. And in <a href="http://www.thebillionairesbutler.com/2017/09/" target="_blank">What To Buy For Someone Who Has Everything</a> I brought up the basic stable of fine wines, brandy, and cognacs as being welcome gifts on any occasion.<br />
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If you have a moment, this year I'll add a few more ideas:<br />
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How about hiring a renowned photographer to take pictures of your elaborate grounds and gardens and turn them into meditative works of art for the interior walls of your home? Here's a link to <a href="https://www.artmajeur.com/en/avalon/presentation" target="_blank">Curtis H. Jones</a> Pure Nature Fine Art Photography and his various soothing styles. You can contact him personally at curtishjonesphotography@gmail.com and ask him about the luxury Magical Backyard Art Photography service. (This could be quite a unique gift, especially if done in secret while your friends, the homeowners, are away for the day.)<br />
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On another note, Cartier's famous <a href="https://www.cartier.com/en-us/collections/watches/mens-watches/tank.html" target="_blank">Tank Watches</a> are for the ages and appropriate for both men and women nowadays. In the world of luxury horology they're surprisingly not that expensive, many in the $3,000 to $10,000 range. It might be advisable to have a few of these on hand in your gift closet for those last-minute surprises, or perhaps a forgotten birthday.<br />
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For more frivolous gifts, there's always <a href="https://www.hammacher.com/home" target="_blank">Hammacher Schlemmer</a>. This depends, of course, on how well you know your rich friends and their interests, and when the need to impress each other with expensive gifts is no longer necessary. For over 170 years this company has been offering the most unique and crazy gadgets under the sun, and it's a lot of fun just to browse through their catalog.<br />
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Finally (also on an arguably-frivolous note) how about giving your friends the gift of a White Christmas, no matter what part of the country or climate they live in, by covering their home and gardens with snow? Prices vary from city to city and depends on how much coverage and depth of snow you want, of course. But imagine the delight in children's eyes in Miami or Phoenix, Arizona when they wake up to snow on Christmas day. Priceless! Just Google "<a href="https://www.google.com/search?rlz=1C1GGRV_enUS748US748&biw=1366&bih=667&tbm=isch&sa=1&ei=puU0XdXOFI2gswWN1I64Ag&q=snow+maker+machines&oq=snow+maker+machines&gs_l=img.12...59188.63019..65857...0.0..0.65.824.15......0....1..gws-wiz-img.......0i24j0j0i30j0i5i30j0i8i30.Eh9BhPB0s4Q&ved=0ahUKEwjVubWphsfjAhUN0KwKHQ2qAycQ4dUDCAY" target="_blank">snow machine</a>" in your city to find an estimate.<br />
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I hope this has been somewhat helpful in making your gift plans this year? It's never easy buying things for the rich.<br />
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As always, thanks for stopping by this evening.<br />
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And Happy Shopping!<br />
Andrew<br />
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<br />Andrew Williamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18169944719534148527noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2416149814500566138.post-68488617675476461892019-06-26T17:45:00.000-04:002019-06-26T17:45:48.901-04:00Gold Diggers and the Rich!<i>Youth ages, immaturity is outgrown, ignorance can be educated...but stupid is forever!</i><br />
- Aristophanes<br />
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Although comic playwright Aristophanes wrote this way back in ancient Greece around 385 BC, it's as if he'd come face-to-face with my employer's new girlfriend. I kid you not, this woman is driving me nuts with her unrelenting antics and idiocy. (I said new, but she's actually beginning her second year around here.)<br />
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Don't misunderstand me. She's actually quite charming in her own déclassé sort of way. And her appearance is unquestionably pleasant for a sixty-year old woman - tall, slim, with long blond hair - regardless the gauche and unskillful makeup. But with my employer's money, her wardrobe has decidedly improved from off-the-rack at Nordstrom's to off-the-rack at Neiman Marcus - although it's still far from haute couture, if she even knows what that is. We've also noticed some recent and glittering diamond baubles mixed in with her regular and somewhat gaudy costume jewelry. All of which is none of my business, of course.<br />
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Since the divorce a few years back there's been a steady stream of gold-digging women in and out of my employer's life. But this one actually told me in confidence that she's not looking to get married, but just enjoying the <i>friendship</i>.<i> </i>(Which, I might add, includes the above-mentioned luxury gifts, travel on my employer's jet, and expensive five-star hotels and restaurants. What's not to enjoy, right?) <br />
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But there's something missing about this woman. I would call her an airhead, a dumb-blond, or a bimbo - but that was sound rude and sexist, wouldn't it? Not to digress into clichés, but it's like her elevator really doesn't go to the top floor. When my employer invited her on her first trip to Europe, she asked Ester the Upstairs Maid to help pack the things she had laid out, among them being a whole roll of United States First-Class Stamps.<br />
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Ester: <i>Are you taking these, Ma'am?</i><br />
The Girlfriend: <i>Yes, I want to send post cards to all my friends.</i><br />
Ester: <i>Excuse me, Ma'am, but you might need to buy the stamps in whatever country you're in.</i><br />
The Girlfriend (after a pause): <i>Oh, silly me, I hadn't even thought about that. Do you need any stamps?</i><br />
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Then, back in January of this year when there was that awesome total lunar eclipse, just to make conversation I asked The Girlfriend the next time I saw her:<br />
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Me: <i>Did you happen to see the eclipse last week?</i><br />
Her: <i>No, I missed it - I was out of town.</i><br />
Me: <i>Where did you go, China?</i> (Although I didn't actually say that out loud.)<br />
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As innocuous as this all may seem, I don't understand how my employer puts up with her. It's difficult if not embarrassing to watch her try to host a cocktail party, where her conversation rarely goes beyond the weather or something silly she's watching on Netflix. But perhaps that's the whole key to their relationship; her naivety, lack of sophistication, and non-taxing tug on the intellect. Who knows?<br />
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I just try to mind my own business (well, to an extent), keep out of their way, and remind myself that there's a paycheck involved here every couple of weeks. Besides, July is coming up and it's time to begin Christmas plans - gifts, designer cards, decorations, caterers - so I'll be too busy to focus on Her Ladyship Duchess of Dumb.<br />
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I do hope you're having a splendid restful summer this year, between the spring and fall social seasons.<br />
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And as always, thanks for stopping by this evening,<br />
<br />
Andrew<br />
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<br />Andrew Williamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18169944719534148527noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2416149814500566138.post-40900298401692440842019-04-24T17:53:00.000-04:002019-04-24T17:53:05.535-04:00Do Rich People Iron Their Sheets?<br />
You'll have to admit that when staying in a fine hotel that offers <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Turndown_service" target="_blank">turn-down service</a> it's always a pleasure to see ironed sheets and a chocolate on the pillow or bedside table. It not only lets you know that the bed has indeed been changed from the previous night's guest, but it also feels quite nice to slide in between freshly ironed bed linens.<br />
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But after that first momentary pleasure, five minutes later the sheets get all wrinkled again, don't they? Which is why in my own humble apartment the sheets come directly out of the dryer and straight onto the bed - skipping all the labor of ironing.<br />
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Hotels have these massive <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rp-_NOCQ47Q" target="_blank">rotary machines </a>to both iron and fold the sheets in one quick and easy task. But in a private home, there's nothing quick or easy about it. The whole procedure is labor intensive (to say the least!) and can take a couple of hours or more to complete. It's common knowledge that Martha Stewart has her sheets ironed and changed <i>every day</i>. But she's rich and has a full house staff (including a laundry tech no doubt) to accommodate this obsession without having to lift a finger herself.<br />
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The Butler Academy I attended attached great importance to ironing sheets for our rich employers, and part of my two-year curriculum allowed for home studies. So one day I got this box of freshly-washed but crumpled sheets from FedEx and my task was to both iron and fold them correctly and send them back to the academy as soon as possible.<br />
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Oh dear lord, what to do? I'd never ironed so much as a handkerchief in my entire life! My first thought was to hire someone to do it - which would be efficient of course, but cheating. And I really wanted to learn the job top to bottom, especially since part of a butler/house manager's task is to train new employees.<br />
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So the next step, simply borrow an ironing board and iron, right? But oops, not one of my déclassé wash-and-wear friends owned such a thing. So off to Walmart I went to purchase the clumsy instruments. (And then back again an hour later to buy an ironing board cover. Who knew, right?)<br />
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I have to tell you that this whole procedure, being the first time, took me the entire afternoon! The pillow cases were a snap and the king-size top sheet, while time consuming, was relatively easy as well - compared to the fitted bottom sheet that turned out to be a real bitch to wrangle and iron.<br />
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Then folding them correctly into tight little bundles was another nightmare altogether - especially, again, the bottom sheet sheet. Mercifully Cheryl Mendelson's brilliant book entitled <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Home-Comforts-Science-Keeping-House/dp/0743272862" target="_blank">Home Comforts</a> (required reading by the academy) has detailed charts about how to fold anything from clothes to dinner napkins and bed sheets - which was a life saver! And all said and done I got a 90% grade on that test, which was a huge relief.<br />
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There are such things as small Rotary Irons for home use. <a href="https://www.mieleusa.com/domestic/rotary-ironer-1590.htm?mat=07222730&name=B_990" target="_blank">Miele</a> makes an affordable one (about $2,000) that's great for ironing dinner napkins, pillow cases, and the top bed sheet. But there's nothing on God's green earth to help with the bottom sheet.<br />
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I hope this post has been somewhat helpful in deciding whether or not to iron your sheets and how to go about it. Personally I don't recommend it one bit if you can avoid it. I think it was Socrates who said, "Work once begun must be continued." (Or was that Gandhi?)<br />
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Good night, and as always thanks for stopping by this evening.<br />
<br />
Andrew<br />
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<br />Andrew Williamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18169944719534148527noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2416149814500566138.post-26239506724125549812019-03-20T17:30:00.000-04:002019-03-20T17:30:22.122-04:00Spring Cleaning in the World of the Rich!<i>"Housekeeping ain't no joke!"</i> - Louisa May Alcott<br />
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After a long and harsh winter it's that happy time of year again when the weather starts to warm up, birds begin their welcome migration north, and spring flowers start to push up through a thawing earth. While it's a cultural commandment that now is the time to start our spring cleaning, it's also a kind of innate awakening that makes us want to throw open the windows, let in the fresh air, and to clean up the mess from our winter hibernation.<br />
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I don't know about you, but for me this mixed blessing comes across mostly as a dreaded chore. When it's freezing cold outside all I want to do is snuggle up and watch Netflix - to heck with cleaning the house, right? So it just builds up and up until it becomes like this huge monumental task. And while you may begin your spring cleaning with a broom and a mop, it's like I need to start with a rake. Lordy lord!<br />
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For the rich and super rich, with their enormous mansions and multiple homes all over the world, you might imagine this is a gigantic, labor-intensive event as well.<br />
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But no, not so!<br />
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In these homes with a full year-round staff of housekeepers and groundskeepers, we do what's called Zone Cleaning on a continuing basis. This simply means that in addition to the daily task of tidying up throughout the entire house, one room is selected each week for deep cleaning, on a rotating basis.<br />
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Let's say a guest bedroom with a full marble bath is the zone for the week. Here's a list of what all we do, which might give some tips in your own spring cleaning.<br />
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- Open the windows and balcony doors to air out the room.<br />
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- Clean the inside of the windows. (The groundskeepers clean the outside.)<br />
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- Strip the bed and flip the mattress, including sprinkling both sides with <a href="https://www.google.com/search?q=arm+and+hammer+soda&rlz=1C1GGRV_enUS748US748&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwi3_qOdlI_hAhVDPq0KHdR7CAkQ_AUIDygC&biw=782&bih=476" target="_blank">Arm & Hammer Baking Soda </a>to absorb any odors, then vacuum off. Wash or send out the bed clothes for dry cleaning.<br />
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- Vacuum underneath the bed with a flat vacuum.<br />
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- Vacuum the walls, the ceiling, the drapes, and the furniture.<br />
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- Vacuum or carefully brush all the lampshades (depending on the delicacy of the fabric), and wash or polish the <a href="https://www.google.com/search?q=finials+for+lamps&rlz=1C1GGRV_enUS748US748&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwic1pmNkY_hAhUGbKwKHer5CeAQ_AUIDygC&biw=782&bih=476" target="_blank">finals</a>.<br />
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- Dust the artwork on the walls with a <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/science/2004/apr/08/thisweekssciencequestions3" target="_blank">female ostrich feather duster.</a><br />
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- Dust the chandelier or light fixture. (There are outside services to polish the crystals, when needed.)<br />
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- Sterilize the door nobs, the light switches and the bathroom handles with an alcohol wipe.<br />
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- Move bedroom furniture and vacuum underneath. (The groundskeepers assist with this.)<br />
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- Polish all the marble in the bathroom. (We use products from <a href="https://stonecare.com/" target="_blank">Stone Care International</a>.)<br />
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- Replace all towels (even if they haven't been used) with fresh ones.<br />
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With all hands on board, this task only takes a couple of hours, and every room in the house gets deep cleaned on a regular basis. So you see, there's no real need for panic come spring. The entire house is thoroughly deep cleaned all throughout the year.<br />
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Having said that, you'll likely want to have all the chimneys swept in the spring, but you'd engage an outside service to do that. In addition, some homes have both winter and summer furniture. So we might find ourselves lugging the dark heavy winter furniture up to the attic and bringing down the lighter floral-print furniture for the spring and summer.<br />
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And not forgetting that rich people are always toying with their homes; endless and whimsical re- decorations, perhaps complete renovations, or maybe even additions added to the house. Spring seems to be the time of year when they want to do this, so be on the alert whenever this disruptive madness comes your way.<br />
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On this first day of spring, and as always, thanks for dropping by this evening!<br />
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I hope this has been helpful in some small way and that your spring cleaning goes smoothly. Martha Stewart has <a href="https://www.marthastewart.com/267295/spring-cleaning-checklist" target="_blank">some tips on her website</a>, in case you get stuck. But fair warning: it may give you a bigger headache than I have!<br />
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HAPPY SPRINGTIME!<br />
<br />
Andrew<br />
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<br />Andrew Williamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18169944719534148527noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2416149814500566138.post-28765512896539786492019-02-21T17:28:00.000-05:002019-02-21T17:28:50.204-05:00Winter Doldrums in the World of the Rich!<i>"I'm seeing a lot of new faces in the audience tonight, especially on the old faces."</i> - Johnny Carson on the Tonight Show.<br />
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With the spring social season just around the corner, this is the time of year when rich people all over the world begin to trickle home after mysteriously vanishing to Switzerland for a few weeks. While their face lifts and other unmentionable nips and tucks might only take a few hours in surgery, it takes a couple of weeks or more for the healing and bruising to subside. And there are plenty of luxury spas in Switzerland to accommodate this recovery time.<br />
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At the end of the month we're hosting a small soirée for several couples who have just returned from their winter "vacations", ready to step back out into high society. Dame Covington is practically giddy in anticipation. Said she, <i>"I wonder if we'll recognize anyone?"</i><br />
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My employer and his new girlfriend did go to a <a href="https://www.fodors.com/world/europe/switzerland/experiences/news/photos/switzerlands-10-most-spectacular-spas" target="_blank">rejuvenation spa</a> in Switzerland, but only for a week. And there are no discernible nips, tucks or bruising that we can tell. Ester, the Upstairs Maid, has a keener eye than I, and she suspects they have opted for Botox treatments this year, rather than plastic surgery. While I've noted some puffiness now and then, I can't really tell the difference between too much alcohol or if they're simply retaining and bloated.<br />
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But I'm looking forward to the party and the parade of stretched foreheads, alarmingly wide-open eyes, and the sometimes-permanent smiles that come from too many trips to the fountain of youth. Chef and I both agree that a snappy (if somewhat bitchy) cocktail party is just what we need to get warmed up for the onslaught of the social season - which could be a humdinger this year considering how politically polarized everyone has become in the last couple of years.<br />
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To be sure, it will be a welcome relief from a rather dull winter this year. Unlike in years past before the divorce, there were no large galas or other dazzling events, no holidays celebrated here in the house, only a smidgen of small rather-dull cocktail parties now and then - all of which I blame on the obnoxious new girlfriend. But nonetheless, we in the house staff tried to make the best of it.<br />
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In the last post I told you about Christmas with Dame Covington, which was utterly charming. Then New Year's came along and turned out to be totally uneventful. Although the new girlfriend said she wanted to have a quiet evening with just a few of her déclassé friends over for cocktails (which I really wasn't looking forward to) they wound up going to one of their private dinner clubs in the city. Which gave me the chance to celebrate the evening with a few déclassé friends of my own.<br />
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Then Valentine's Day crept up, like it does on all of us, right? And I really didn't know what to do. I did have the good sense to have our florist fill all the vases in the downstairs with red-rose arrangements. And Chef made sure we had plenty of champagne, chocolates and caviar on hand, just in case.<br />
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But again we got a reprieve! They booked rooms at the <a href="https://www.google.com/search?q=plaza+hotel+new+york&rlz=1C1GGRV_enUS748US748&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwibtqjqr8vgAhVFEawKHca9CdoQ_AUIDygC&biw=1366&bih=667" target="_blank">Plaza Hotel</a> and had dinner at the <a href="https://www.google.com/search?rlz=1C1GGRV_enUS748US748&biw=1366&bih=667&tbm=isch&sa=1&ei=dtZtXMSFLo7ytAWj7qjADA&q=oak+room+at+the+plaza+hotel+new+york&oq=oak+room+at+the+plaza+hotel+new+york&gs_l=img.1.0.0i24.88678.95685..99300...0.0..0.230.1763.10j5j1......1....1..gws-wiz-img.......0i7i5i30j0i8i7i30.54vuEn6YGoY" target="_blank">Oak Room</a> (on the ground floor of the hotel) the night of their arrival. And then the next day they had Valentine's lunch at the Plaza's <a href="https://www.google.com/search?q=palm+court+at+the+plaza+hotel+new+york&rlz=1C1GGRV_enUS748US748&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjulqyotMvgAhUZFjQIHYI9DvQQ_AUIDigB&biw=1366&bih=667" target="_blank">Palm Court</a>. As cliché as that all may sound, we were delighted to have the evening free! Chef made some chocolate-dipped strawberries for Dame Covington, and she was delighted as well.<br />
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I hope you got through all the holidays without undue stress, and that your winter blues have passed smoothly. Spring is just around the corner, with all the hope and renewal that always seems to bring.<br />
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As always, thanks for stopping by this evening,<br />
<br />
Andrew Andrew Williamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18169944719534148527noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2416149814500566138.post-59501355525846641232018-12-20T20:23:00.000-05:002018-12-20T20:23:47.559-05:00Christmas With Dame Covington!It seems that Dame Covington has taken full-time sanctuary here ever since her unfortunate incarceration a couple of months back for assault. Other than a small bruise and hurt feelings, her victim sustained no permanent physical damage, has dropped all charges, and no lawsuits have been forthcoming. Yet still the Dame is hiding out here to let the dust settle and regain some modicum of dignity before venturing back out into local high society - and we are so pleased with her delightful company.<br />
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Last evening, in fact, she saved a cocktail party from becoming an utter disaster. I mentioned a couple of years ago that I'm not a big fan of Antonio Vivaldi. His <i>Four Seasons </i>composition<i> </i>is pleasant enough. But his concertos (relegated to breakfast music by most civilized people) are just so dingy and repetitive - totally maddening in my opinion. In fact, composer Igor Stravinsky said, <i>"Vivaldi didn't write four-hundred concertos, he wrote one concerto four hundred times!"</i><br />
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Apparently Dame Covington has a similar opinion, which endears her to me even more. My employer's latest girlfriend (number seven by our count) invited a few of her déclassé friends over for holiday cocktails. The Dame was already downstairs, and just as I setting out the hors d'oeuvres Miss Seven came downstairs and greeted us with charm, if not grace. She went over to the CD player (yes, we still have one of those) and thumbed through the collection of albums, randomly pulling one out and popping it in before her guests arrived.<br />
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When it turned out to be Vivaldi concertos, Dame Covington's eyebrows shot up in surprise and she gave me a look of what can only be described as alarm, bordering on panic. And I'm afraid my own expression of shock offered little to relieve her distress. But with finesse, aplomb and well-practiced diplomacy, Dame Covington stood up and began her plan of attack:<br />
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Dame: "My dear, I see you're a fan of Vivaldi?"<br />
Seven: "Who?"<br />
Dame: "The composer of these charming concertos."<br />
Seven: "Oh.<br />
Dame: "Have you ever heard his Four Seasons?<br />
Seven: "Not that I recall."<br />
Dame: "Would you do an old lady a kindness and put them on now? They're just so lovely, especially for this time of evening."<br />
Seven: "I'd be delighted, if we have it."<br />
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As Miss Seven shuffled through the CD collection to find the requested piece, Dame Covington looked at me with a devilish grin and rolled her eyes. I had to suppress a laugh, but I really wanted to kiss her!<br />
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Seven: "Who's this Edit Piaf? There's several of her albums here."<br />
Dame: "Oh, how wonderful. Lets do listen to her!"<br />
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And thus the evening was saved! Vivaldi free, as it were. In fact, I'm going to hide his albums up in the attic so we don't have to run into this nightmare again.<br />
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With Christmas fast approaching, it seems that my employer and Miss Seven will be spending the holiday in Cabo San Lucas. Not very Christmas-y in my opinion, but at least they'll be out of here for awhile. Which leaves only me, the house staff, the dogs and Dame Covington to celebrate the day together. Chef has generously offered to serve up a Christmas dinner for all of us, and asked the Dame what she prefers.<br />
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At her request it seems we'll be having a traditional British meal. Except instead of turkey there will be individual <a href="https://www.google.com/search?q=cornish+game+hen&rlz=1C1GGRV_enUS748US748&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjCw8jylq3fAhUSKawKHZTbAIkQ_AUIDigB&biw=782&bih=476" target="_blank">Cornish game hens</a> for each of us, along with stuffing, gravy, mashed potatoes and cranberry sauce. But Chef declined to personally make the Dame's request for a <a href="https://www.google.com/search?rlz=1C1GGRV_enUS748US748&biw=1366&bih=667&tbm=isch&sa=1&ei=8-MaXOKbBM3YsAXz-6bABQ&q=british+christmas+pudding&oq=british+christmas+pudding&gs_l=img.12..0l2j0i5i30j0i24l2.24633.27063..31221...0.0..0.120.530.7j1......1....1..gws-wiz-img.......0i7i30j0i7i5i30j0i8i7i30.QHc8Ex7HNx8" target="_blank">British Christmas Pudding </a>and took it on himself to ask our personal shopper in London to send one over from <a href="https://www.google.com/search?q=Harrods+London&rlz=1C1GGRV_enUS748US748&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwi17Kvml63fAhULKawKHWbXBTIQ_AUIDygC&biw=1366&bih=667" target="_blank">Harrods</a> - which will be a great gift and treat for all of us!<br />
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I asked the Dame if I should set a formal table in the dining room for the event. But she insisted to sit with us at the <a href="https://www.google.com/search?rlz=1C1GGRV_enUS748US748&tbm=isch&q=high+table+for+servants&chips=q:high+table+for+servants,online_chips:downton+abbey&usg=AI4_-kQT1TqrraDrpf2WCGs-1q72apwM7g&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwiKnN-omK3fAhUId6wKHTZrCicQ4lYIKCgB&biw=782&bih=476&dpr=1" target="_blank">High Table</a> below stairs where servants have their meals. Now tell me, how classy is that?<br />
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I hope you're having a wonderful holiday season and planning a splendid Christmas dinner with family and friends. As always, thank you for reading - not just tonight but for all this year past! Merry Christmas, and a peaceful and Happy New Year!<br />
<br />
Andrew<br />
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<br />Andrew Williamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18169944719534148527noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2416149814500566138.post-400618006180368842018-09-29T21:05:00.000-04:002018-09-29T21:05:25.324-04:00What? Dame Covington Is In Jail!This evening I got a late-night call from our local Constable to see if I could come and bail Dame Covington out of jail! Seriously? It seems the dear old gal had become belligerent and created a ruckus at a fancy cocktail party here in town. Apparently there was an argument about politics and Covington used her gold-handle cane to trip her opponent - an equally elegant lady of roughly her age who didn't take it well and called the cops!<br />
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Of course I jumped out of bed and drove over right away. In my world I always have access to bail money, be it for my crazy old employer himself or for his occasionally unruly guests. But Dame Covington is a special case and I'd use my own money to bounce her out of jail, if need be.<br />
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This charming wise old woman has been a friend of my employer's since childhood, elementary school in fact, and was a best friend to his first wife who died some years back. She's like a fixture in this house - always around in the background. She can be found in the library quietly reading a book, down at the pond with parasol in hand watching the swans glide by, or unobtrusively making herself a hard boiled egg in the kitchen. In fact, I'd be worried if I didn't see her around here on a daily basis. For those evenings when she's had a few too many cocktails and can't quite make it home, she even has her own designated bedroom on the second floor, next to the elevator.<br />
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Among her multiple marriages, no one seems to know or care where she gained the title Dame along her journey in life. But she has a regal air and carriage which gives her all the respect she deserves. It's rumored that she was once quite rich, but now is almost totally dependent on other people's cocktail buffets for her daily nutrition.<br />
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Bless her dear heart, she has all kinds of issues in staying out of jail. The dents and scratches on her ancient Rolls Royce testify to her driving skills. While she doesn't drive on highways anymore, apparently she's a terror on streets here in our little community. Our local cop Michael is very lenient with her, but here's some funny exchanges he's shared with me:<br />
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Michael: <i>Did you see that red light, Madam?</i><br />
Covington: <i>Of course I did young man, but there's so many of those in town - do you expect me to stop at all of them?</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
Michael: <i>There was a stop sign at that intersection, Dame Covington!</i><br />
Covington: <i>Yes, but it appeared like more of a suggestion and I wasn't really in the mood.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
Covington: <i>Why did you stop me young man, can't you see I'm in a hurry?</i><br />
Michael: <i>Speed signs are there for a reason!</i><br />
Covington: <i>Alright then, I'll take it under advisement. May I go now?</i><br />
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I met Dame Covington the first week I worked here, it was in autumn. Upon escorting her and my employer's new wife (both with cocktails in hand) out to the balcony to observe the brilliant fall colors of red, yellow, orange and purple, she said to the new wife, "<i>Your grounds are lovely my dear! Who does your trees?" </i>And I've been in love with her ever since.<br />
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After posting bail, she fussed all the way home about the embarrassment and discomforts of being thrown into the clink. But coaxing her with a Hot Toddy I finally got her tucked into bed, up on the second floor. And I'm going back to bed myself, right this minute!<br />
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As always, thanks for stopping by this evening, even at this late hour.<br />
<br />
Andrew<br />
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PS: Her bail was only $50!<br />
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<br />Andrew Williamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18169944719534148527noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2416149814500566138.post-34354229251724173532018-08-29T19:07:00.000-04:002018-08-29T19:07:06.400-04:00Gender-Neutral Service in Restaurants!<br />
When it comes to the rules of etiquette between men and women, admittedly I'm what you might call old school. It was taught to me by my mother in childhood and it has fit in well with my current job as a butler in a billionaire's home.<br />
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Things like holding a door, pulling out a chair, or opening the car door for a lady are second nature to me. Giving up a seat on the subway, especially if it's an elderly woman or a mother with children, goes without saying.<br />
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And when it comes to dining - whether in a private home, a 24-hour greasy spoon cafe, or a posh five-star restaurant - serving women first seems like it's built into our collective DNA.<br />
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But now it seems there's something new afoot, and proper etiquette might be evolving. Our friend Caroline Muller (known as the Master Concierge on Twitter) shared an article by Grace Perry from Eater.com about a new trend going on in some surprising places.<br />
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Entitled <i>"The End of Ladies First Restaurant Service", </i>I took a deep breath and dived right in.<br />
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Grace explains that several trendy restaurants are responding to the various social movements of how women expect to be treated in this world today by offering what's called <i>Neutral-Gender Service.</i> Which basically means forget about serving ladies first and treat everyone at the table as equals. From water and wine, to dinner plates and dessert, guests are served clockwise around the table, regardless of male or female - or age for that matter.<br />
<i> </i><br />
While this rocks my world, I totally get it. The long-standing feminist struggles and more lately the Me Too movement have awakened us not only to grotesque physical assaults against women but also the pervasive and subtle ways of sexism and gender discrimination lingering in our society today - even in such simple things as restaurant service.<br />
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We all know that social change is agonizingly slow. Not so long ago, until the Suffragettes had finally had enough, were American women finally allowed to vote in 1920 - although driving a car or smoking a cigarette was still unthinkable for them. Going to a gathering of homosexuals, whether in a private home or a public bar, could get you arrested and thrown into jail on morals charges. But the revolts in the revolutionary 1960s put a stop to all that and the Gay Rights movement was born.<br />
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It could take years, decades, even generations for this gender-neutral trend to become universal, if ever. Especially among the royals in Europe as well as the overindulged and coddled new rich in America who are drunk on attention and personal service. Not to mention all the unique and complicated relationships between men and women in various cultures around the world. Only this past year were women in Saudi Arabia allowed to drive a car.<br />
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At the very least, gender-neutral service is a start - like a courageous first step and a new beginning. Most likely it will smolder and simmer as a lovely niche for a long while, like comfortable sanctuaries in a hostile world.<br />
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But I get it. And I'm writing this post tonight so we won't be shocked if we wander into one of these enlightened places. I doubt we'd see a sign on the door or menu about being gender neutral, but we'll know it when we see it.<br />
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Here's a link to Grace Perry's <a href="https://www.eater.com/2018/8/16/17605790/restaurant-service-gender-neutral-ladies-first" target="_blank">fascinating and brilliant article.</a><br />
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When you have time, please take a look. Personally, I myself doubt if I could ever treat an ancient Grand Dame coming into this house like <i>one of the guys!</i> But I'd love to hear your thoughts and comments below.<br />
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And as always, thank you for stopping by this evening,<br />
Andrew<br />
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<br />Andrew Williamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18169944719534148527noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2416149814500566138.post-34716363266395869612018-07-24T17:52:00.000-04:002018-07-24T17:52:15.861-04:00MacLean & Bruce! Experiential Travel at Its Best!This morning, minding my own business and dusting a not-dusty Renoir print near the breakfast room, I accidentally overheard my employer and his new lady friend discussing a trip to Europe. Delighted by the possibility, I immediately called my <strike>spy</strike> confidant at the corporate office to see if she had heard anything about it.<br />
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Yes, she said! In fact she'd just gotten an early morning email from the lady-of-the-moment asking her to investigate renting a small castle in Scotland - large enough to accommodate twelve people for a ten-day golf outing and birthday celebration. It's not clear who's birthday, hers I suspect. Certainly not my cranky old employer's who was born on the first of January - which makes it seriously hard to enjoy New Year's day.<br />
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Anyhow, needless to say I was overjoyed! Ten days is a good long while. Thinking fast, I told her about my Twitter pals Charles MacClean and David Bruce in Scotland who specialize in this very thing. As you may recall, a while back I wrote an essay about <a href="http://www.thebillionairesbutler.com/2016/09/experiential-travel-for-rich.html" target="_blank">Experiential Travel</a>.Well, it seems MacLean and Bruce, along with their partner Vikki, are experts at handling this very thing.<br />
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Far from the madding crowd of most mass-service tour operators, this dedicated team relies on their deep roots in Scotland and their network of family and friends to create unique and highly individualized holiday experiences for each and every one of their clients - whom they welcome as friends. Not only can they find a castle, but they can also book transportation, restaurant reservations, golf outings, Whiskey tours, entertainment events, sight seeing, and unique shopping spots off the beaten path. Here's a look at their <a href="https://www.macleanandbruce.com/" target="_blank">dreamy website</a>.<br />
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Now, if you want your castle fully staffed these fellows can provide a chef, chauffeur, valets, maids, even a butler is so desired. In fact they conduct their own butler training classes. A couple of times a year they team up with another favorite Twitter friend Grant Harrold, publicly known as The Royal Butler. Not only has Grant been in service to various members of the Royal Family, but he now conducts etiquette and butler classes at the renowned Blenheim Palace in the UK. Here's a link to his splendid school, <a href="https://www.theroyalbutlersschool.co.uk/" target="_blank">The Royal School of Butlers</a>.<br />
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You can't imagine how much I'd love to join these guys for a few refresher courses. Mind you, I have all the basic skills about running a luxury home, entertaining large parties, and international protocol. But the thing is my attitude sucks. Really bad. And I could use some adjustment in that area.<br />
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It's one thing to be in service to royalty - where history, admiration and respect come into play. But quite another to tolerate the silly mindless needs of the new rich in America. If it weren't for the high-dollar paychecks I'd be out of here in a flash. (And you see, right there - <i>that's</i> the attitude that needs adjusting!)<br />
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If you'd like to follow these gentlemen on Twitter, Charles and David's Twitter name is @MacLeanAndBruce. And Grant's name is @TheRoyalButler. There's a lot of fun tweeting and new ideas being shared right along. Grant even gives brief and humorous etiquette lessons in the tight space of one-or-two sentences as allowed by Twitter - to which I always look forward.<br />
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In spite of seriously crappy weather this year, I do hope you're having a good summer. Mercifully cooler weather is just around the corner and all the fun holidays that autumn brings.<br />
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As always, thanks for dropping by this evening,<br />
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Andrew<br />
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<br />Andrew Williamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18169944719534148527noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2416149814500566138.post-28547583769160261852018-06-25T20:26:00.000-04:002018-06-25T20:26:36.326-04:00My Employer Is Flat Out Crazy! It's only June but it's already hot as the dickens right now, more like something we'd expect in August! At least the summer solstice arrived this week and our dear planet earth starts to tilt northward again, one slow day at a time until Autumn arrives. I for one can't wait! Cooler temps, football games, and all the crazy holidays headed our way.<br />
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I don't know if it's the heat that's affecting both me and my employer but we've been at odds lately. On a huge property like this I'm pretty good at hiding out and conveniently running errands without ever having to come face to face with him. In fact sometimes there's ten-day to two-week stretches when we never see each other at all. But when we do there's nothing but whining, bickering and quarreling about every damned little thing around here:<br />
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He: There's a couple of tree lights out in the driveway.<br />
Me: <i>Yes, bulbs do burn out, don't they?</i><br />
He: When you find the time would you mind changing the batteries in my remote?<br />
Me: <i>Certainly Sir, I've been waiting all day for such a challenge.</i><br />
He: Why's the TV not working?<br />
Me: <i>Because it's raining and I'm not the one who chose satellite for this house!</i><br />
He: Are you happy here Andrew?<br />
Me: <i>About what Sir, if I might ask?</i><br />
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The thing is, in my mind the rich have nothing very much to complain about in this life. They have luxurious secure housing, as much gourmet food as they want or need, top-dollar health insurance, vacations, travel - and free time out the wazoo. What else on earth is there to grumble about?<br />
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The big rub right now is that he has a new girlfriend - I've lost count but she's like seventh or eighth since the divorce several years back. Some last a few months, some a couple of years, but this new one has a strange grip that I've not seen before. She's like a Goody two-shoes type (nothing wrong with that) but she's planted Bibles all over the house, including the old man's bedside table. And she's even coaxed him into going to church on Sunday mornings - which is way too late in my opinion.<br />
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So here's how it goes: the pharmacy delivers Viagra to the house on Saturday, they go to church on Sunday morning, then come home and fornicate all afternoon. Which is fine, I'm no one's judge - and it certainly does keep them out of my hair for the day.<br />
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But the other thing is my employer is getting up there in years and showing signs of dementia and paranoia. Which is scary! He has total recall of things that never happened, and in his mind everyone is trying to steal from him or screw him in some kind of way. He'll devour an entire can of nuts while watching a soccer game, then claim the next day that someone stole his cashews. It's not just the house-staff here that gets the evil eye, but the office staff as well. He'll approve a new purchase or renovation for a property he owns, but then forget about his approval and chew everyone out for spending his money! This gets old really fast. How can we know what to do without running afoul of the bear?<br />
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The good news tonight is that my <strike>spy</strike> confidant at the office said the pilot has been alerted and the old man and new woman will be away during the week of July 4th celebrations - a much needed respite for all of us! And I think if I'm wise I need to sit down and update my resume while it's quiet around here for a few days. Who knows what the future may bring?<br />
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Thanks for dropping by this evening. I hope you're planning some fun events for the Fourth. I'd love to be with my family for some outdoor grilling and homemade ice cream, but it's not in the cards this year. House sitting and dog sitting are never-ending tasks, whether the old man is here or not.<br />
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Andrew<br />
Andrew Williamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18169944719534148527noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2416149814500566138.post-82033273396680814382018-05-30T18:07:00.000-04:002018-05-30T18:07:27.638-04:00What Is It Like To Have Servants?I love this question, often asked by friends and associates who daydream about being rich and not having to lift a finger to get through a day. It's like, what else is money for if you can't have other people help you with all your stuff, right? For example, what if:<br />
<ul>
<li>You don't have to make your own coffee or breakfast when you wake up? Thanks to Chef it's already waiting for you on the breakfast-room table. Or if you're feeling poorly or lazy you could ask for a tray to be sent up to your room - complete with a bud vase and the morning newspaper. </li>
<li>You don't have to make your own bed or change the sheets (ever) since the Upstairs Maid will do that for you? (my personal favorite!)</li>
<li>You don't have to dust, vacuum or mop (again, ever) because that's the Executive Housekeeper's job to assign to her assistant House Cleaners.</li>
<li>Nor do you have to do your own laundry, ironing, or shine your own shoes since the Laundry Tech takes cares of all that. </li>
<li>Do you need to take your car(s) out for inspection, an oil change, or routine maintenance? No, that's the Chauffeurs job of course - along with washing, waxing and filling them up with petrol.</li>
<li>Do you need to call a repairman (and wait hours for them to arrive) when the air conditioning, internet, or the washing machine goes out? Heavens no, that's what your House Manager/Butler is for.</li>
<li>Is it your job to mow the grass, trim the hedges and tend the flower gardens on your precious weekend off? Not bloody likely when you have full-time Groundskeepers to do that for you. </li>
<li>Is it on your schedule to pick up the dry cleaning or drop off alterations at the tailor shop? No, either the Butler or his assistant, the household Errand Runner will take care of that for you.</li>
<li>Do you need to dash out to Neiman's to buy a few gifts for a wedding or other such reckless events? You can if you like, or your Personal Shopper is on hand anytime you wish, waiting for your call. Likewise she/he's there for birthdays, graduations, anniversaries and the enormous task of Christmas shopping.</li>
<li>Do you need to make your own travel arrangements, acquire theater tickets, or write your own <i>Thank You</i> notes? Not when you have a Personal Assistant.</li>
<li>Is it your responsibility to fly your own plane or steer your own luxury yacht? Not if you have a Pilot and Sea Captain on retainer, ready to go at your every whim. </li>
<li>When you're having a gala at your estate for five-or-six hundred guests, do you have to be involved in any way? Not really! Just turn it over to your Events Planner who will organize the Caterers, Musicians, Florists, Decorators, Valet Parkers, Security Personnel, and Party Rental companies if you need tents and canopies. Then you can arrive at your own party stress free, dressed to the hilt in haute couture, dripping in diamonds - ready to enjoy a pleasant evening! </li>
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While this list is hardly exhaustive, you at least get the drift of what it might be like to have an army of people helping you run your busy daily life. However, as noted in the previous post entitled Privacy For The Rich, there's a price to pay for all this help. And there are some situations, no matter how rich and powerful you are, when you have to do a task all by yourself - like standing on line at the Department of Motor Vehicles to have your picture made and driver's license renewed. (Although it's not uncommon to have a servant stand on line, then the boss steps up to take his place when his name is called.)<br />
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With the narrow definition of a servant being someone who provides a service, we all have a degree of unavoidable helpers and service workers in our lives, right? Beauticians, barbers, manicurists, dry cleaners, plumbers, electricians, repairmen, tax accountants and lawyers to name a few. Some of us can afford to have house cleaners and lawn-care workers come in once or twice a week. Some of us can afford to get a facial or massage now and then. And let's not overlook all the doctors, dentists and pharmacists trying to help us live healthy lives.</div>
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But there's one area when we actually <i>choose </i>to have service, even if we're not rich or powerful - that being when we go out to a restaurant. Depending on the establishment of course, here's what we might have available when we dine out, to a greater or lesser degree:</div>
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<ul>
<li>Valet Parkers to eliminate finding a parking place.</li>
<li>A Host/Hostess to escort us to our tables.</li>
<li>A Table Attendant brings in water and a menu.</li>
<li>Then a Waiter shows up to take our aperitif orders and dinner choices.</li>
<li>Right beside him a Sommelier (fancy name for Wine Steward) steps up with a wine list, ready to explain all the fine vintages in their collection that might be suitable for our dinner selections.</li>
<li>In the kitchen we have Food Preps washing lettuce and dicing veggies, and a Sous Chef and Executive Chef arguing about recipes and how the plate should be laid out.</li>
<li>Throughout the meal our Waiter shows up to observe, poor more wine, and his Table Attendant brings more water or bread and butter as needed.</li>
<li>When dinner is over, a Busboy comes quickly to take away the dirty dishes and clean up the mess we've made.</li>
<li>And back in the kitchen, the Dishwasher cleans all the plates, flatware and stemware so we don't have to do that when we wake up in the morning.</li>
</ul>
It's a nice experience to have a hearty meal and nourish ourselves without lifting a finger, right? But a word of caution here: this is NOT the time to act silly and snobby. The way we treat our Waiter and his crew reveals our entire personality, not just to the restaurant staff but also to the people we've brought along to dinner. Playing the uppity Big Shot here only gets us bad service, and scorn from our table party guests. And trying to show off our extensive (yet still sophomoric) wine knowledge to a dedicated Sommelier is a lost cause to begin with. In fact, here's a fun and informative article from the Food Network entitled <a href="https://www.foodnetwork.com/restaurants/photos/8-things-your-waiter-wishes-you-knew" target="_blank"><i>8 Things Your Waiter Wishes You Knew</i>!</a></div>
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I guess the bottom line is that professional servants take care of needed, legitimate jobs in this world. Not because our rich employers are little Gods on this earth and feel entitled, but for a fat paycheck or a big tip in a restaurant! Abuse, whether it be physical, verbal or emotional, is not allowed - illegal in fact, and can be prosecuted. Arrogance on the other hand might be tolerated by those of us in service - that is, for awhile and to an extent. But it gets tiresome and reveals the true character of the person we're working for - and provides a big clue as to whether we need to move on and get away from such a self-centered person at the first opportunity.<br />
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As always, thanks for stopping by this evening! I hope this post wasn't too tedious, but it's always fun to write about the master/servant relationship. Especially with so many instant and clueless billionaires popping up these days all over the world - like corn kernels on a hot skillet.<br />
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Andrew</div>
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Andrew Williamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18169944719534148527noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2416149814500566138.post-89951680154653956692018-04-26T18:53:00.000-04:002018-04-26T18:53:16.954-04:00Privacy For The Rich!In my capacity as house manager for a rich family I've often been asked if the rich have any kind of privacy. It's a legitimate curiosity of course - especially these days with every TV channel airing dirty laundry and salacious stories about the rich and powerful.<br />
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It's reasonable to think that having lots of money can provide layers upon layers of insulation from the outside world and prying eyes. But generally speaking it's quite the opposite. As you already know rich, famous and powerful people are under constant scrutiny by the press, the paparazzi, the IRS always snooping around - not to mention jealous back-stabbing friends ready to gossip at the drop of a hat. Plus they're under relentless siege by legitimate charity organizations as well as posers, ladder climbers, gold diggers (both male and female) and outright scammers.<br />
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The thing is, when you get so rich and involved that you need other people to help run your busy life, then your personal privacy goes straight out the window. From my unique perspective as head of the household staff, here's a disturbing list of privacy issues that butlers, housekeepers, laundry techs, chefs, chauffeurs, personal assistants and private secretaries know about our rich employers:<br />
<ul>
<li>First and most obvious, we know every nuance of their moods - when they're happy, sad, or just grumpy for some damned reason. (Which gives us a clue if we need to momentarily disappear or hide out for the whole day.) </li>
<li>We can see and hear if the Missus and Mister are speaking to each other at breakfast, or not. Trouble is usually afoot if nary a word is spoken. (Hide!) </li>
<li>From their calendars, appointment books and notes beside their phones, we can figure out their comings and goings for the day. (After all, we can't get out work done until they get out of the way.)</li>
<li>If they fall ill, we know what medications they're taking and what kind of long-term diseases they might be fighting. (Ester the upstairs maid has a talent for Googling every prescription and keeping us informed.) </li>
<li>We know what kind of cosmetics and vitamin supplements they're using to fight the ravages of age. (And we know from the pharmacy deliveries how many Viagra pills it takes to get them through a month.)</li>
<li>Their rumpled and possibly soiled sheets tells Ester if they had a fun toss in the hay or slept on opposite sides of the bed - which she immediately reports for our own well being. (When she tells us they used separate bedrooms for the night, that's definitely a reason to hide!)</li>
<li>From the empty wine bottles and sliced limes, we can tell how much they drank last night. (Which gives us a clue about what time they might come down to breakfast.)</li>
<li>Lipstick on the stemware, or lack thereof, tells us if their late night guests were male, female, or both. (If the Missus is out of town but we still find lipstick on a glass, this is a good time for everyone to keep their mouths shut!) </li>
<li>Going out in separate cars for the evening almost always means trouble. (Our chauffeur is an expect at detecting unfamiliar perfume and cologne aromas.)</li>
<li>By sorting the mail we see their department store bills, their investment companies, letters from their attorneys, and legal notices from the court during whatever court battle is at hand. More importantly we see their party invitations and RSVPs. (Which tells us where they stand in local high society at the moment, like who's coming or who's snubbing them this year.) </li>
<li>What they're wearing tells us exactly where they're going for the day. Dark clothes and veils obviously indicate a funeral. Casual clothes means they're meeting with intimate friends. Haute couture indicates a party or gala. (A cheap suit from Walmart means yet another day in court fighting off lawsuits.)</li>
<li>How they pack and how much luggage they take indicates how long they will be gone. (Which spreads like wildfire among the staff!)</li>
<li>And finally, by typing the tail number of their private jet into Flight Aware's tracking website, we know precisely when their plane is taking off, where it is at all times, and when they'll be coming back. (Urgent information so that we can all look busy when they return!) </li>
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Mind you this is not so much about snooping and gossip as it is about job protection and self preservation. If you work in a 9-5 office job forty hours a week, you have every right to expect your employer to be on best behaviour at all times. Otherwise legal recourse comes into play. But in household service we know our employers can't be on best behaviour 24/7. We're much more tolerant of grumpy moods - we know how to deal with it or else we couldn't tolerate our jobs. In the service industry it's called professionalism. If we don't have it, then we're in the wrong business.<br />
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So do rich people have any kind of privacy?<br />
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No, I don't really think so myself. And the constant drone of daily news on cable TV bears this out. Loyalty and confidentiality agreements can only go so far. But intense scrutiny (and gossip) is what it is.<br />
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Thanks for dropping by this evening. I hope this has shed some light.<br />
Andrew<br />
<br />Andrew Williamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18169944719534148527noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2416149814500566138.post-16176004034567350042018-03-07T19:19:00.000-05:002018-03-07T19:19:40.184-05:00Cosmetic Surgery in the World of the Rich!<i>"I see a lot of new faces out there tonight - especially on the old faces." - </i>Johnny Carson.<br />
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Of course, that brought a big laugh from his TV audience. But Carson was tapping into a source of humor that all rich people understand - their endless quest for youth and beauty. Which comes up now because this is the time of year when rich people return from their mysterious winter trips abroad, ready to show off their new faces and bodies for the Spring Social Season.<br />
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I can't wait to see the results and wonder if I'll recognize anybody. There comes a point when the face has been stretched so many times that original features start to disappear. What's left is just this smooth mask-like visage - which is one of the reasons I've often said that rich people all look alike to me. The other being their flawless makeup, currently-popular coifs, and of course the endless parade of haute couture and flashy jewels. Seriously, it all becomes a blur.<br />
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A few years back I remember telling you about one lady whose face had been stretched so many times that she had a permanent smile - which is why no one ever invited her to a wake or funeral. Last year she had her back stretched and showed up at a cocktail event in a backless dress. Which was (how to say it politely?) a source of murmur and comment. I'm wondering what the poor thing will look like this year.<br />
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A couple of years ago my employer and his then-current girlfriend had their eyes lifted during a winter disappearance. When they got home, with the lingering black eyes and bruising for days on end, they looked like two raccoons sitting there at the breakfast table and didn't dare go out for the evening.<br />
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But this year it seems my employer opted for Botox rather than going under the knife. The upstairs maid found a bill for one treatment, photographed it and texted it to me. Indeed, there's noticeably less laugh lines around his mouth. And since the crabby old <strike>buzzard</strike> gentleman doesn't laugh or smile very often, I'm thinking this treatment will last a lot longer than the usual five-or-six months.<br />
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While it's all a source of humor for most of us, there are huge risks involved with these procedures, and there's endless tales of botched cosmetic surgeries that didn't go so well - leaving people with unexpected blemishes and scars.<br />
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I once worked in a five-star hotel where a famous and elegant high-society socialite often showed up, always wearing dark veils. She was the heiress to an oil-fortune magnate, and history records that she was somehow <i>"mysteriously disfigured"</i>. But rumor was rampant at the time that while undergoing plastic surgery, an oxygen tank had exploded in the operating room.<br />
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I'm not sure why I'm reporting all this. The temptation to undergo youth-restoration procedures is entirely understandable. Why not? But it's urgent to seek out the best practitioners available - no time to cut costs here. By all means, check out their references, their successes, and their failures. I mean, how do you go to sleep with a permanent smile stretched on your face?<br />
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There is something to be said, after all, for growing old gracefully. Age is a gift, is it not? So many, many people for so many, many reasons don't get to experience this normal progression of life. But rather than going under the knife, the old standbys of exfoliating, regular facials, Oil of Olay moisturizing products and Porcelana Fading Cream can go a long way in upping one's self esteem in the inevitable and god-given process of aging.<br />
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As always, thanks for stopping by this evening. I hope this report hasn't been too alarming!<br />
<br />
Andrew<br />
Andrew Williamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18169944719534148527noreply@blogger.com6