Tuesday, October 27, 2015

Halloween Parties for the Rich!

It's that time of year again when Halloween frolic is upon us, no matter how silly and absurdly we might celebrate the day. For the rich, Halloween is most certainly on the agenda as well.

As you might suspect they pass up no opportunity to throw a cocktail party or gala to show off their latest fashions and jewels, and just hang out together in a safe environment - far from the Great Unwashed. But Halloween adds a special flavor to an otherwise typical party.

There was a time when full-scale masquerade balls were all the rage, with people showing up dressed like European royalty with tiaras and diplomatic ribbons all over the place. But with everyone being so busy nowadays, it seems most rich people have opted for something more simple.

I'm recalling the days when the former Missus was here and the elegant Halloween parties she could come up with. Instead of costumes, guests mostly wore their own haute couture attire plus a designer Venetian mask of some sort. The Missus wore a simple eye mask she bought in Venice some years back - black silk with small diamonds outlining the eye portals. Together with her Coco Chanel little black dress and renowned string of uneven pearls, she always looked radiant.

These parties always incorporated caterers, bar tenders, valet parkers, security, expensive vintage wines, the obligatory Beluga caviar of course, and always music. For small parties she would hire a pianist and saxophone player; for large parties tents might be set up outside to accommodate bands and a dance floor. She could spend fifty to two-hundred thousand in nothing flat.

On more than one Halloween event she would hire thespians from the local theater, dressed as witches and vampires, to skulk around the gardens and stare in the windows at the elegant party going on inside (which to the paranoid rich was quite spooky indeed!). Plus she always hired a fortune teller to sit in the library, for those so willing or daring.

Then there was that one year she even tried to hire Nancy Reagan's astrologer Joan Quigley to appear at the event, but it didn't work out. (Not to sound ill-mannered in any way, I'm just surmising that Quigley had her hands full at the time.)

In any case, I hope you have some fun Halloween events planned. But with the Missus gone there's nothing going on around here at all. Period! Even the gates and dogs prevent trick-or-treaters from entertaining the evening.

Thanks for stopping by tonight and Happy Halloween!


Friday, October 16, 2015

National Boss's Day! Is this for real?

I've spent the entire day hiding out in the butler's closet or upstairs in my carriage house apartment to avoid having to see the Mister today.

It's National Boss's Day, in case you most certainly didn't know, and if the old goat even knows about it I'm afraid he'll expect me to say something nice or at least smile at him - which is beyond the pale.

Honestly, he's been incorrigible for the last few months and the older he gets the worse it becomes. Plus he's developed this annoying habit of expecting people who draw a paycheck on his behalf to actually do some productive work from time to time.

This has given us all a shock and I must say it's getting old really fast. We all have our job descriptions around here (which are a little cushy, I'll admit), but to suddenly expect more work for the same pay is confusing to all of us and not about to happen. (We've been through these psychotic episodes before and know he'll forget about it in a few days.)

But what are we supposed to do on this stupid and ill-thought holiday? Buy him a card? Express gratitude for our abuse and slavery? That's not going to happen either. Whoever came up with the idea and congressional approval for a Boss's Day needs to have their butts kicked!

If you're in the corporate world and forced to participate in this absurd day, here's a link to some off-the-cuff nice things you might say in case you come face to face with your employer. But you don't want to compromise your own integrity by doing so, right?

I hope this doesn't come across as negative in any way. I mean, who would sign our paychecks if we didn't have a boss? But that doesn't mean we have to kiss his butt, does it?

I'd look for another job myself, but the potential to run across an employer who expects work and productivity eight hours a day is seriously intimidating.

Thanks for stopping by, and Happy Boss's Day.



Tuesday, October 6, 2015

Neiman Marcus Makes It Official: Christmas Is On The Way!

Well, well, it's only the first week of October. Halloween is still three weeks away, but we got an email today from Neiman Marcus that the Christmas Catalog is in the mail and now available online.

Taking only a quick peek, it has it's usual understated cover (some might think it tacky or even worse, artsy-fartsy) which belies the insanely expensive gifts inside.

In any case, for those in the high-end retail world this seemingly marks the official beginning of the Christmas shopping season, and all hell's about to break loose. For the rich, of course, this three-month lead time is helpful in appropriating the funds to accommodate the voracious expectations of their friends and families.

For those of us in private service here at the mansion, this also marks the beginning of when our stomachs start going into knots with so much work to do!

Upon consultations with our employer, we need to get the greeting cards designed, printed and sent to the calligrapher for addressing. Make out a gift list and do the shopping in order of priority. Prepare for the exterior house decorations and meet with our dreadful florist for the interior designs. Deal with events planners and caterers for all the parties that are about to slam us in the face. And all the while trying to put on a happy face about this annual work overload.

I can't really say that rich people look any more forward to all this than we do. It's just part of their social obligations and trying to fulfill what's expected of them by way of generosity and charity events that overwhelm them every year at this time. But we do our best to back them up and make everything go smoothly.

We'll also be looking much forward to their winter vacation directly after New Year's, when all this nutty crap joyous occasion is behind us.

Before going, here's a link to the Neiman Marcus Christmas Catalog. Just hit the Flip Book button to go through it and see what rich people are up to this year.

Thanks for dropping in tonight,