Tuesday, February 13, 2018

Lent vs. Valentine's!

What a nutty year this has been! Climate change, politics run amok, and now Lent and Valentine's coming up back to back. How weird is that?

Today is Mardi Gras (aka Fat Tuesday) and Lent begins precisely at midnight tonight. Have you ever been to New Orleans on this day? They're deadly serious about this stuff. All the music stops at 12:00pm, all the bars close. The police march down the streets to throw all the revelers out, and water trucks come right behind to spray down the streets and anyone refusing to leave! It's like a totally deranging moment; one minute you're having fun, and the next you're thrown out into the cold dark night.

Honestly I'm so not into Lent this year. We're supposed to give up something for the next forty days until Easter to cleanse our souls, right? If chocolates or champagne were on your list, good luck with that with Valentine's coming tomorrow. Which is why it's so weird these two holidays are back to back this year - fasting versus indulgence!  👀

At this late hour I haven't decided yet what to give up. Was thinking perhaps I could give up giving up things for Lent. But that might be a ticket straight to hell. (Although that convoluted thought might work if Kellyanne Conway or Sarah Huckabee Sanders were taking charge of the gates on Saint Peter's day off.)

As for Valentine's, as usual I'm the one who has to buy flowers and a card for my employer's current girlfriend. I'm sure he expected me to buy two dozen roses from the wholesale florist and arrange them myself. But that didn't happen this year. Instead, he gets a bill from the local floral designer for $120. (Seriously, I just didn't feel up to it.)

As for the card, it's not supposed to be too sappy or committal, you understand - avoiding words like "I love you" at all cost. So I settled for one of those expensive Hallmark cards ($8 bucks) that said something neutral like "Hope this day is everything you hoped it would be."

On the other hand, my spy confidant at the corporate office told me she'd received a bill from Fendi for a 24-carat gold python bag for $36,000. So I guess that's not too shabby to go along with my flowers and card, right?

Wishing everyone a happy Valentine's Day this year! And if you're Catholic, I hope you get through the next forty days without too much stress!