Tuesday, October 25, 2016

Halloween Costumes for the Rich!

While quietly minding my own business today, out of the blue a FedEx package arrived from a fairly-renowned costume shop in Hollywood.


It was addressed to my ancient old employer of course. But as his trusted, loyal and discreet assistant, I took it upon myself to open it - along with Ester the upstairs maid who has a similar snoopy curiosity as to what is going on around here from day to day.

Inside the box there was a cape, a tweed cap, and a pipe. And while I'm sure you've already guessed it, apparently the old buzzard is going to a Halloween party this year dressed as Sherlock Holmes!

We weren't aware that he'd received any invitations this year for Halloween, but somehow the costume seems to suit his self image as an intelligent gentleman - as opposed to going as Dracula which would better reflect his true nature and demeanor toward others.

My spy confidant at the office, who has access to his weekly calendar, doesn't know what party he's going to either. She said there's a note for Saturday October 29 that only says "Angela 8:00pm". Well, just who the heck is Angela? A name we've not heard around here before, but fear the worst - another new girlfriend showing up? Ugh!

About this time last year I wrote about the elegant costumes and parties the former Missus used to throw around here in a post entitled Halloween Parties for the Rich - so I'll not bore you with all that again.

But there was this one year when she wanted to dress up as Holly Golightly in Breakfast at Tiffany's, complete with black evening gloves and a rare silver-and-gemstone cigarette holder. I tried to dissuade her, explaining that it's mostly Drag Queens who dress up like Holly. But she was not deterred, and was actually the hit of the evening. The major difference being that Holly's pearl and diamond necklace was merely costume jewelry.

Unlike the quiet rich however, Hollywood celebs are somewhat more flashy and splashy in their Halloween attire, to say the least. If you're looking for costume inspiration, here's a look at fifty-five celebrities that made the pages of Harper's Bazaar - "From sultry to spooky" and all done up for "Trick-or-Treating".

As always, thanks for stopping by this evening.

I hope you have a fun and wonderful Halloween weekend! But beware, the onslaught of Christmas begins the very day after!


Thursday, September 22, 2016

Happy Autumn 2016!

After our long awaited summer vacations, leisurely trips to the beach and backyard cookouts with family and friends, it's time to put the suntan lotion aside I guess, buck up, and get ready for autumn. What's about to hit us is not unlike a tsunami!

It's a crazy busy time of year for everyone; football games and tail-gate parties, Halloween coming up next month, followed quite rapidly by Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah, and New Year's celebrations! Which involves all kinds of running around, making preparations, and bracing ourselves for the flood of friends and family popping in and out - some of whom don't pop out quite as quickly as they pop in, do they?

For the rich, in addition to all this madness it's also the high social season for charity balls, fund raising events, and grand galas just to celebrate their wealth together and show off their latest haute couture, diamonds and fancy new cars - all squeezed into the already busy holiday calendar. But unlike most of us, the rich have a cadre of helpers to handle the work load; Personal Assistants, Personal Shoppers, Party Planners, caterers, and of course their own house staff and chauffeurs to tie up all the loose ends.

For those of us in service to the rich, this time of year is up there with the most maximum stress God ever created for an employee. I'm in this category of course, and basically regard myself as an errand boy throughout the whole season. But I'll also have to say it's the most fun and challenging time of the year, stressing our social and creative skills along with our patience. I both dread it and look forward to it, and the knot in my stomach starts to tighten up along about now, the first day of autumn.

This year however (and I just found this out today) my employer will be away for almost the entire month of December! What?

My spy confidant at the office told me the old man and some of his cronies are doing the grand tour of London, Paris, and Rome, plus a two-week luxury river cruise throughout the Continent! Absolutely awesome! Cracking a bottle of champagne as we speak!

No cocktail parties, no charity events, no pompous inflated egos showing up during December? Amazing! But best of all, she told me not to bother with the annual Christmas party for the office staff this year - which is as boring to them as it is to me and all the house staff here. She said that instead of coming here she'll book us into a high-dollar restaurant one evening in December - on the old man's ticket of course, Yes!

Of course we still have greeting cards to get out. But I already started that process back in the summer with our card designer. In early October I'll be delivering them to the calligrapher for addressing - although the office hasn't sent me a finalized list yet. Whatever it is, it's greatly diminished in number since the frazzling divorce a couple of years back.

It's also my task to send out gifts to our most vital contractors, and to our hateful neighbors. But this is easily dismissed by calling up our trusted liaison at Harry and David. Specializing in professional gifts, they have food and wine baskets in a wide range of prices, and therefore suggestive of  the value placed on the recipient. Our contractors will get the full treatment, but I'm afraid to say our dreadful neighbors will get one step above bupkis. In any case, you can't go wrong with these guys. Just tell them what you want to spend, give them an address, and that's that.

Needless to say the house staff and I are ecstatic about Christmas this year! There'll by lots of time off for them of course, and chef will probably go off on a month-long binge. I'll still have house sitting / dog sitting to do of course, but to be free of my cranky old employer allows plenty of time to sleep in every day - and for family and friends to pile into the guest rooms.

As I'm writing this I realize it's only September, right? But I'm thinking Christmas is already lurking in the back of our minds, whether we want to admit it or not.

Thanks for dropping in this evening, and Happy Autumn!