Wednesday, September 6, 2017

What to Buy for Someone Who Has Everything?

So Labor Day is behind us and all hell is about to break loose! The Fall Social Season is already winding up, there's football parties to plan, and then of course the endless crush of holidays headed our way. The stores are already full of Halloween crap. But the big enchilada is Christmas, right?

In the world of the super rich it's never too early to start thinking about gifts, and the perennial question of "What to buy for someone who has everything?" raises its ugly head. In fact if you Google those very words you'll find about 68 million responses - everything from Forbes Magazine to Martha Stewart. So I thought I might jump in and add my two cents.

As for my ancient employer's multiple girlfriends, I'm still in touch with the former wife's Personal Shopper and will just turn this task over to her and be done with it. Honestly I can't imagine what to buy for any of these women. (Although a sterling-silver Medical ID bracelet comes to mind.)

But what if you want to buy something special for your best friend? In that respect I'd recommend a nice Richard Mille watch. So what if you have to spend $500,000 to $1 million, this gift separates the men from the boys - and it's your best friend, right? Here's a fun article on why the
Richard Mille Watch is so impressive and important to the super rich. And here's a look at the Top Eleven Mille watches - ranging from cheapskate to best buddy!

Now getting back down to earth, you don't have to spend one or two mil on each and every friend, do you? There's plenty of unique things out there at a reasonable price. Personally I always recommend booze as an easy way out for those who don't need anything else in this material world.

For example, you could give a respectable bottle of cognac for as little as $5,000 and up to $100,000, depending on how much you like the person. Here's a link to some notable and most excellent choices. (By the way, it was the poison cognac found in this house that provoked my alarm and book over the horrifying investigation!)

But to continue, thanks to our friend Josef Frieze at Von Urbanovsky - who has an excellent line of unique items for the rich - we've been introduced to a distinctive and rare bourbon from an intriguing company called Arome Spirits.

This would be a gift for a comfortable old friend who can't be impressed with money, only quality. Arome has a finely aged 28-year-old sipping rum (heartily reviewed by Robb Report) which you can pick up for around $650 a bottle - and perhaps share with your friend on a cold winter night beside the fireplace.

Aside from all that, you could always resort to frivolous gifts and gadgets from Hammacher Schlemmer, offering "Unique and Unexpected Gifts for 169 years". It's not about money here, only knowing your friends well enough to know what would tickle them. After all, the rich and super rich get tired of the battle to impress and upstage each other.

I hope this has been helpful in your gift planning this year. It's always such a nightmare and so damned tricky in the world of the rich.

Thanks for dropping in this evening,

Thursday, August 17, 2017

Christmas Ads in August?

Well crap! I kid you not, today we saw the first blip of Christmas ads on the TV! Miserable weather and sweltering heat in the middle of August, and Christmas ads are already in our face!

It was Marie Callender's turkey and dressing dinners to be specific. But I expect we'll be seeing the Pillsbury Dough Boy popping up any day now, right?

Honestly this gives me the willies! With these two rotating girlfriends floating in and out of here every-other weekend, who knows what kind of confused and conflicted social season this will be. This house has already been ostracized, to a degree, since the divorce. What now?

Do these women expect to have holiday cocktail parties and sit-down dinners for their friends, to show off their new situation in life? Which has been my experience with all the new comers.

Like suddenly the house will fill up with all kinds of trashy extraordinary people who ask for beer and pizza - and plow into the swimming pool in spite of the fact they didn't bring swim suits. Not too scandalous, right?

Or, if you lay out an exquisite table for these nice folks with eight-or-ten eating utensils and four drinking goblets - red wine, white wine, water and a champagne flute - just stand back and get ready for some good laughs. (Did that sound judgmental?)

The thing is, if these two women can get their party dates straight without intersecting one another, will the caterers be able to accommodate? This is the stuff nightmares are made of.

In self defense I've learned to keep plenty of beer in the wine cellar and frozen pizzas, hamburger patties and buns on hand - in case I need to fire up the grill without any help from caterers. The thought has actually crossed my mind to buy some paper plates and plastic forks, but I'm afraid Nelda, our ancient executive housekeeper, would have a stroke. So I guess it will be frozen pizza served on Flora Danica china, with sterling knives and forks and a linen napkin - served down at the pool to people in their birthday suits. 👀

However, the nice thing about this particular ilk is that they tend to eat pizza and burgers with their fingers, so there's really no need to polish the silver afterward. And they also have a unique and appreciated tendency to help clean up - which lets us get out of here quicker.

Please don't blame me for mentally retreating into more tranquil times (before the divorce) when the Missus would throw a small gala for four-or-five hundred people, all dripping in diamonds and haute couture, fully catered of course - and no one running around butt naked!

Happy Hour, here I come! Thanks for stopping by this evening.