Saturday, November 19, 2016

How Rich People Celebrate Thanksgiving!

Well crap, the election in America has absorbed all our attention for the last many months, but suddenly there's Christmas decorations all over the place and here we are with Thanksgiving right on top of us! There'll be friends popping in for the feast of course - but alarmingly there'll also be family showing up for an unpredictable amount of time. God have mercy!

To sort this all out, if you have a couple of minutes let me try to describe the differences between how the super rich celebrate the holiday compared to all the rest of us peasants.

PARTY STYLES: First and foremost, if this is a big event for friends and associates, did you send out Save-the-Date notices followed by a formal invitation for the Thanksgiving feast? Do you have an events planner to coordinate everything? A caterer to make all the food and a bartender to serve up the libations? Do you have Valet Parkers engaged at your front door? Did your groundskeepers properly light up your runway and helicopter landing pad, according to FAA guidelines?  And last but hardly least, have you hired security guards to surround your house and protect all the diamonds, pearls and haute couture furs coming through your front door, not to mention all the luxury cars parked outside? If our answer is "No" to any of the above questions, then we're quite possibly in the peasant class.

MENUS: Yes, my observation is that the rich usually have a traditional turkey on the table. But there might also be other exotic fowl as well, such as Egyptian pheasant under glass, or bacon-wrapped grilled quail. To the traditional turkey-dressing and green-bean casserole, add some $2,500/ per pound truffles and a couple of pounds of Almas Caviar (roughly $25,000) and you've got a nice spread for your fancy friends. Is this similar to your table? If not, then I'm afraid we're peasants without pheasants.

GUESTS: Do your over-night Thanksgiving guests have their own private bedrooms, complete with marble bathtubs, cable TV, internet connectivity, and an Upstairs Maid to tidy up their mess? Or, are your guests sleeping on pull-out sofas, palates on the floor, or perhaps in your four-wheel camper outside? If so, then we're in danger of being considered not just peasants but very near Trailer Park trash as well.

BLACK FRIDAY SHOPPING: While many of us might be standing on line at retail stores and slugging it out for Black Friday bargains, I assure you the super-rich will be sipping Mimosas on their yachts or sunning themselves on a Caribbean beach somewhere. When it comes to what they want, cost is not even the slightest consideration. Of course, if they do want bargain prices for some of the perfunctory gifts they have to give to business associates and the like, then they'll send out their Personal Assistant, Personal Shopper, or some idiot like me to stand on the long lines.

So that's about it. I hope this hasn't been irritating, but the divide between the rich and all the rest of us is so very enormous. Personally I'd rather be sleeping on a pull-out sofa or a palate, surrounded by loving family and friends, than by an impersonal Upstairs Maid who wishes you'd get out as soon as possible, or perhaps never having shown up in the first place. :)

Best wishes to all for a blessed and wonderful Thanksgiving!



  1. Oh Andrew I'm laughing so hard but this post makes me feel like the Little Match Girl on the outside looking in! Hoping you have a wonderful Christmas! Susan :)

    1. You're a sweetheart to say that Susan. I hope your holidays are happy and wonderful as well! Andrew

  2. My young employer had me schlep out to Palm Springs as he hosted a "friendsgiving" at his parents desert vacation home. 20 guests all in their early twenties! The actual dinner was catered, and he brought in waiters and bartenders, but 10 guests spent the weekend and I was the only servant to attend to all of them. I'm only in my late twenties myself, but these spoiled kids ran me ragged all weekend!

    1. Unfortunately I know the feeling well. Hope you recover soon: Christmas and New Year celebrations are just around the corner! :)