Youth ages, immaturity is outgrown, ignorance can be educated...but stupid is forever!
Although comic playwright Aristophanes wrote this way back in ancient Greece around 385 BC, it's as if he'd come face-to-face with my employer's new girlfriend. I kid you not, this woman is driving me nuts with her unrelenting antics and idiocy. (I said new, but she's actually beginning her second year around here.)
Don't misunderstand me. She's actually quite charming in her own déclassé sort of way. And her appearance is unquestionably pleasant for a sixty-year old woman - tall, slim, with long blond hair - regardless the gauche and unskillful makeup. But with my employer's money, her wardrobe has decidedly improved from off-the-rack at Nordstrom's to off-the-rack at Neiman Marcus - although it's still far from haute couture, if she even knows what that is. We've also noticed some recent and glittering diamond baubles mixed in with her regular and somewhat gaudy costume jewelry. All of which is none of my business, of course.
Since the divorce a few years back there's been a steady stream of gold-digging women in and out of my employer's life. But this one actually told me in confidence that she's not looking to get married, but just enjoying the friendship. (Which, I might add, includes the above-mentioned luxury gifts, travel on my employer's jet, and expensive five-star hotels and restaurants. What's not to enjoy, right?)
But there's something missing about this woman. I would call her an airhead, a dumb-blond, or a bimbo - but that was sound rude and sexist, wouldn't it? Not to digress into clichés, but it's like her elevator really doesn't go to the top floor. When my employer invited her on her first trip to Europe, she asked Ester the Upstairs Maid to help pack the things she had laid out, among them being a whole roll of United States First-Class Stamps.
Ester: Are you taking these, Ma'am?
The Girlfriend: Yes, I want to send post cards to all my friends.
Ester: Excuse me, Ma'am, but you might need to buy the stamps in whatever country you're in.
The Girlfriend (after a pause): Oh, silly me, I hadn't even thought about that. Do you need any stamps?
Then, back in January of this year when there was that awesome total lunar eclipse, just to make conversation I asked The Girlfriend the next time I saw her:
Me: Did you happen to see the eclipse last week?
Her: No, I missed it - I was out of town.
Me: Where did you go, China? (Although I didn't actually say that out loud.)
As innocuous as this all may seem, I don't understand how my employer puts up with her. It's difficult if not embarrassing to watch her try to host a cocktail party, where her conversation rarely goes beyond the weather or something silly she's watching on Netflix. But perhaps that's the whole key to their relationship; her naivety, lack of sophistication, and non-taxing tug on the intellect. Who knows?
I just try to mind my own business (well, to an extent), keep out of their way, and remind myself that there's a paycheck involved here every couple of weeks. Besides, July is coming up and it's time to begin Christmas plans - gifts, designer cards, decorations, caterers - so I'll be too busy to focus on Her Ladyship Duchess of Dumb.
I do hope you're having a splendid restful summer this year, between the spring and fall social seasons.
And as always, thanks for stopping by this evening,
I would imagine that, when picking 'friends' of this nature, someone who is lacking a a few ... insights, might be desirable. Personally, I would think it might be fun to introduce her to some of the options she may not know she has!ReplyDelete
Good to see a new post. I hope you're holding onto your sanity there.
Btw, it's the dead of winter here in Australia! ;)
Agreed! What else is excess money for if not to have fun? But trust me, these two are not exactly Julia Roberts and Richard Gere in Pretty Woman!Delete
As for sanity, I think I gave that up years ago when I first stepped into the world if the super rich.
Nice to hear from you Ben. Stay warm in your winter Down Under!
If she went to China she probably being chewing the fat so to speak and her dim witted nature is probably a refreshing change for your employer. True intellectuals are other real responsibilities need people of a “the world is sunshine and rainbows type” just don’t ask her how many chins are in the Chinese rolladex or at the pay phone. She might be out of breath and hopped up on ginsing. “My it’s thin up here” who ever said it’s lonely at the top as a complaint is a fool right now lol. It’s the good kind of corona free 🤫🧐🤓 and I hope all those furs were beloved pets or not custom made lol sincerely pita oh and always make sure the coats on the coat rack are never touching the floor, never! Walnuts are good all year round. It should replace almonds soon. They are especially good candied. Have a wonderful year!ReplyDelete