Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Five Thousand Dollar Sheets!

As the butler in this billionaire's home, I just wanted to tell you there's a scandal in this house that I'm not quite sure how to divulge. However, and as hard as this might be for me, I'm just going to blurt it out right now - my employers buy cheap sheets! There, I've said it out loud.

You're probably already aware you can pay three, four even five-thousand dollars for one set of luxury sheets. For example there's an Italian company in Tuscany called Pratesi. Five thousand dollars sheets with them is not unusual - exquisitely made in every detail. Take a look at their website  http://www.pratesi.com/ if you don't believe me.  

A butler buddy told me about a family he works for in Manhattan with a four-floor townhouse - which includes a Master Bedroom and five Guest Rooms. Six beds altogether with two sets of Pratesi linens for each bed, at roughly five grand per set. Do the math and that comes out to $60,000  just for sheets. (You'll want to iron these very carefully, by the way.)

However, in the house where I work I'm mortified to report the bed linens here are only in the $800-$900 range. It's been my observation that rich people can get very cheap in the strangest, most unexpected ways. But I just don't understand it. Everything else in the residence is so out-of-the-ball-park exquisite. Why cheap out here? I can hardly look at guests in the mornings, wondering if they're blaming me as house manager for their misery and discomfort the long night through.

My only saving grace is that my employers don't require turn-down service at night, not for themselves nor their guests. So I'm hoping the guests just pull down the sheets, turn off the lights, and jump right into bed without even noticing the cheap linens. (And considering the amount of alcohol consumed around here, that's a very real possibility.)

Sorry to stress you with this silliness, but this unhappy situation with cheap sheets is totally disturbing, bordering upon scandal.   

Thanks for stopping by,


  1. No wonder I can't sleep at night! And all this time I thought it was the embezzling and adultery! All I need is new sheets!? What a relief!

  2. Ha! In your case, perhaps a little more Gin right before bedtime might do the trick.

  3. We just bought a new set of sheets at Walmart for $33. Bottom, top and two pillow cases. So this just blows us away. lol! $5,000? lol! Enjoy your blog because I like to dream.

  4. Thanks for your sweet comment! But here's a tip. You can find really nice and expensive sheets in a thrift shop or second-hand store (for thrity or forty dollars per set) for linens that might originally cost three or four hundred dollars retail!

    (You'll of course want to add some bleach to the wash before putting them on your bed! Ha!)

    I have a bottom sheet right now, Egyptian cotton, 1,500 thread clount, from a thrift shop-- for only six dollars!

    Thanks for reading and commenting!