Thursday, February 23, 2017

Gatsby the Great!

Well crap! There's more trouble around here than you can shake a stick at! This afternoon Dame Garrett (one of our absolutely favorite Grand Dames of local high society) arrived just in time for happy hour the evening cocktails. When she got out of her beat-up old Bentley, one of the Great Danes grabbed her umbrella and ran off with it!

Not just any umbrella mind you, but a Monet print, acquired from a visit to the artist's hometown in Giverny, France. And from Dame Garrett's panic and tears there was no doubt sentimental attachment involved. Chasing the Dane as he lopped off to his secret burial ground, we were able to bribe him with a treat and he finally let go of the umbrella with only a few minor punctures. (In which case the umbrella becomes a parasol I suppose, rather than protection from rain.)

In any case, his full name on the vet's records is Gatsby the Great. But whereas his companion Darcy is gentle and well mannered, Gatsby is a total mess! Perhaps one of the dumbest dogs God ever put on the planet! Here's just a brief history:

- When he was a puppy we sent him off to a two-week boarding academy for training. Not only did he not graduate, but after six days the academy called us up and politely asked us to pick him up. "We'll send a private trainer to your home," they explained.

- He crawled under the Lexus SUV one night and chewed up a bunch of wires! Requiring a tow truck and ungodly expense to repair!

- When the Mister arrived home from the office one day, Gatsby grabbed his electronic car key and we never saw it again! ($500 to replace!)

- When contractors come, he grabs their tools and runs off to the burial ground! Which causes endless delays in needed repairs. (I try to warn them but they don't fully get it until it's too late!)

- At one cocktail event he grabbed a Senator by his Brooks Brothers tie and just hung there! The man (an elderly gentleman with a bad heart) was totally freaked! But Gatsby wouldn't let go until we got there with a treat.

- One elegant lady, stepping outside for a breath of fresh air at a cocktail event, screamed in alarm when Gatsby yanked her Neiman-Marcus scarf right off her neck! He ran around the grounds with the scarf trailing after him in the breeze, and just try to envision this woman in her red stilettos and diamond bracelets chasing after him!

- Then there was the lady doing her wedding photo shoot here on the grounds. To her horror Gatsby ran up and jumped on her gown with muddy paws! Needless to say screams, tears and re-scheduling!

Don't get me wrong, it's not that Gatsby is a mean dog, but he's definitely got issues! Dame Garrett said that, "With his affection for Brooks ties, NM scarves, Mercedes keys, and Monet umbrellas, at least the boy has good taste."

I guess I have to agree. Gatsby has never grabbed my umbrella from Wall-Marts.

Thanks for dropping in this evening and sharing my angst!

Andrew      

   

4 comments:

  1. I'm actually kind of surprised a crazy dog is put up with around the mansion. I'd expect he'd be hidden away at a puppy spa or something, along with any emabarrasing children. :)

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    1. You're right, problematic children are sent off to boarding schools in Switzerland or Spain. But my befuddled old employer loves these pedigreed dogs more than his own kids, and doesn't even care that they pee on the carpets when he lets them inside. It's a challenge for all of us! My next employer (trust me) is going to be a cat lover!

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  2. The Great Gatsby?sounds a little Grandiose, Then again considering what you've told us about your employer perhaps not.

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    1. That makes me laugh! Gatsby is decidedly grandiose. But at least not a pathological narcissist like his owner. :)

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